Get Carter Again
by SWWoman
Summary: Carter's number has come up again. Can Reese save her this time?
1. Chapter 1

**Couple of notes on this story, this is NOT a sequel to The Wolf at My Door, it's back to the normal POI universe. I am working on the sequel to Wolf, please be patient!**

**Donnelly appears in this chapter, I actually started working on this story back around Christmas when I had a few days off work. I thought about rewriting his part using another character, but decided to leave Donnelly in. It's sorta my good-bye to him.**

* * *

Like he did most mornings, John Reese stopped at his favorite bakery and purchased several doughnuts, a large cup of coffee, black, and a large cup of Sencha green tea, one sugar. And, like most mornings, he strolled to the library nearby and ducked into the back entrance without anyone seeing him. As usual, Bear met him in the hallway and Reese gave him a good ear scratching in greeting.

But this wasn't like most mornings. When Reese got to the computer room, Finch gave Reese a nervous glance, and then turned away quickly so Reese could not see how agitated he was. This usually meant that they had a new case, one that Finch knew Reese would find upsetting.

"Do we have a new number?" Reese asked tensely.

"We have a new, but old number." Finch looked up at Reese, licking his lips nervously. "Detective Carter's number has come up again."

Reese stopped sipping his coffee and his eyes grew hard and cold. No wonder Finch was upset, he knew how much John cared for the pretty detective.

"Is Elias after her again?" Reese hissed, his voice low and deadly.

Finch shook his head, "I doubt it. Elias has been most impressed with your skills, I don't think he would upset you lightly, and after you rescued Taylor, he knows messing with the detective will upset you. I have my weekly chess game with him this afternoon, if you wish, I will ask him."

"I wish, but do you think he will tell you the truth?" Reese asked dubiously.

"In chess one gets to know how one's opponent thinks, and I do think he will tell me the truth."

"May I point out Finch that while you are getting to know him, he is getting to know you, too."

"Mr. Reese, I'm not the one who rescued Taylor Carter from a heavily guarded facility, and emerged without a scratch."

"Meaning?"

Finch looked at John with a bit of a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth, "I'm not the one who scares him."

Reese growled in frustration, "OK, so if it is not Elias, who wants Carter dead?"

Finch sighed, "That's the hard part Mr Reese, Detective Carter's list of enemies is matched only by your own. She has angered just about every crime boss in the city at some point or another, not to mention the remnants of HR, and a couple dozen common street punks. That does not take into account the number of people who might go after her to get to you."

John felt a little sick at that thought. The only thing worse than Carter getting hurt would be Carter getting hurt because of him. He could not live with himself if that happened.

Reese's thoughts were interrupted by Finch's voice, "How do you want to proceed, Mr. Reese?" Finch was fully aware this was not just another case, and he decided to let Reese take the lead.

"We have the advantage this time of being able to be upfront with our number, I'm going to have a meeting with Carter and Fusco to brief them. Maybe they will have an idea who might be after her this time," John said, still obviously quite angry.

Finch checked his GPS information, "Both Fusco and Carter are at the precinct at the moment."

John pulled his phone out of his pocket, hit his favorite preset and waited for Carter to pick up.

"Talk fast, John, I have a meeting with Donnelly in 5 minutes", Carter answered.

Despite the circumstances, John could not resist teasing her, "IneedtomeetwithyouandFuscoas soonaspossible."

"Very funny John. We can see you in an hour in the park," Joss was trying to sound annoyed, but he could hear the smile in her voice. John gripped his phone a little harder, thinking about what a large portion, the good portion, of his world this incredible woman had become.

"Carter, are you wearing your Kevlar vest?"

"No, why?"

"I'll explain later, be sure you put it on before you leave the building".

"John!" she started to argue.

"Don't argue Carter, just put it on!" John said firmly and hung up before she could reply.

* * *

Joss Carter glared at her phone in annoyance.

Fusco looked over at her. "That must have been James Bond on the phone, he's the only one who pisses you off like that."

"Gee, you must a detective," Joss said sarcastically. Fusco grinned at her. "He wants to see us in an hour in the park. And he wanted me to wear my vest."

Fusco raised his eyebrows. "That sounds serious. You think you might be the case of the week?" Fusco, bless his heart, sounded worried.

Joss made a face. "He's probably just messin' with me."

"Who's messing with you?" Donnelly asked curiously as he walked up to her desk.

Joss smiled at the FBI Agent. "Just a friend of ours who likes to get my goat as much as he can. He's really good at it, too."

The agent answered her smile with one of his own and a bit of a twinkle in his basset hound eyes, "Ah, I see, one of those guys who never quite grew up and delights in annoying the pretty girls." Behind Donnelly's back Fusco made a gagging motion by pretending to stick his finger down his throat. Joss kept her expression neutral, barely.

"Let's find an empty office so we can talk, Agent," she said. "You never know what degenerate might be listening around here." Donnelly turned and headed for the row of offices along the wall, with Joss following, but she made sure to shoot her partner a dirty look as she walked by. Fusco just gave her an angelic smile.

* * *

Carter and Fusco were a few minutes late to the meeting with Reese in the park, and Reese was verging on panic thinking someone might have gotten to Joss already. He had to take a few deep breaths to calm himself when he finally saw them walking towards him. It almost worked.

"You're late," he said peevishly.

Fusco grunted, "Carter's meeting with her boyfriend ran long and then she had to put her vest on."

"Boyfriend?" John arched an eyebrow and managed to sound amused on the outside, but on the inside his heart was screaming _NO! NO! NO!_

Carter glared at her partner. "He means Donnelly," she snapped. "We are not dating!"

John's heart breathed a sigh of relief.

"I'm telling ya, he wants you", Fusco teased. John's heart went back to screaming _NO!NO!NO!_

Carter turned to Reese, "I'm guessing you did not call us here to discuss the state of my personal affairs."

As much as Reese would really like to discuss personal affairs, emphasis on the word affairs, with Carter, he knew he had better get down to business.

"Carter, our sources tell us that your life is in danger again."

As he expected, Carter did not take the news well.

She made a sour face and raised an eyebrow. "Oh, you mean those sources you won't tell me about?" she snapped. "I'm a homicide detective, when ISN'T my life in danger? I can't believe you called us out for this!"

She started to turn away to leave, but John moved swiftly to block her. He grabbed her upper arms, gently, but in an iron grip that prevented her from moving, so she was forced to look at him.

"Carter listen to me, our sources would not spit out your name unless it's very serious. Whatever the threat is against is you, it's real and it's big. Last time it was HR and Elias, who knows what it this time? Have my sources ever been wrong?"

She looked away from him, "No I guess not. But I have a job to do. I can't run and hide."

"Carter, I think we ought listen to him, whatever sources he and Glasses are using, they're good." Fusco said, very concerned.

Reese released her arms. "Wear your vest at all times, send Taylor to your mother's and stick close to Fusco. I'm going to turn this town upside down until I figure this out; I just need you to be careful until I do."

Carter glared at him. "I'll send Taylor to mom's, and I'll wear my vest. But understand this, John, I WILL do my job." And with that she stepped around him and marched off down the path. Reese watched her go with a mixture of fear for her life and love for her spirit. He turned to Fusco.

"Stick close to her Lionel, don't let anything happen to her," John ordered him.

Fusco grunted. "I'll try Boss, but if you can't keep her contained, what makes you think **I** can?" And he followed his partner down the path.

John sat down heavily on the nearest bench. He'd known Carter would not take well to being another number, and their meeting had gone about as well as he had expected it go, but he had hoped that she would listen to him, just this once and stay safe. He understood how she felt; had the roles been reversed, he probably would have said the same thing, _I will do my job_. That's part of what made her who she was, and why he'd come to love her. She was five feet four inches, one hundred twenty pounds of pure moxie, but he could only hope that moxie didn't get her killed. He refused to live in a world that didn't have Joss Carter in it.

John couldn't pinpoint the date he fell in love with Carter; it snuck up on him like some sort of thief of hearts. Suddenly he found himself looking for excuses to call her and hear her voice. He found himself eagerly looking forward to seeing her in person. He asked her to meet him in out of the way places where there were no security cameras and he turned off his phone so Finch could not eavesdrop on their conversations, because he wanted her all to himself for those few minutes he had her. He actually even found himself getting a little bit annoyed when Finch had meetings with her without him.

Then the erotic dreams started. Carter, naked, sliding into his bed, taking him in her arms….

His phone rang, it was Finch of course. "Yes, Finch?" He sighed.

"How did your meeting go with the detectives?" Finch inquired.

"Well, she didn't shoot me." John said wryly.

"Ah, so it went well! I'm leaving to meet with Elias now. I'll call you when I get back."

"Good luck, Finch."


	2. Chapter 2

**As usual, if you recognize it, I don't own it!**

* * *

The door to the room slammed shut with a loud metallic clang. Finch managed to keep from jumping, but he never did like that sound; it was the sound of hopelessness. Finch settled down in one of the two chairs in the room to wait. He knew from previous experience that it would only be a few minutes before his foe arrived.

Finch could not help but wish Elias had chosen a different path in life. The man was a brilliant tactician and a born leader. Had he entered the Armed Forces he could have been the next Alexander. Had he entered legitimate business, he could have made Donald Trump look like a chump. But Elias had chosen to follow his father into the mob in order to exact revenge. Finch was somewhat sad for what the world had lost with that decision. But Elias was too damaged by the cold blooded murder of his mother, by his father, to take any other path.

Finch glanced up as the door on the opposite wall clanged open and Elias entered, carrying his chess set, followed by the usual two guards. As usual, Elias dismissed them casually, and they left the room as obediently as Bear. This small show of power always bothered Finch a little and he was pretty sure that was why Elias did it; to show Finch that even in prison Elias was the Boss. Elias lived for power; his ultimate goal in just about all his dealings with any other human being was to gain power over them, and Finch was no exception.

Elias smiled in delight at seeing Finch. Their weekly chess sessions were about his only distractions from the daily grind of prison life and running his various businesses. Finch suspected that these sessions had become far too important to Elias, and he could use that to his advantage someday.

"Ah Crane, what a pleasure to see you again. Are you well? How is the pain today?" Elias cheerfully inquired.

"Elias," Finch nodded his head. "I am doing well, the pain is not bad today, since it's warm and dry."

"Good, then you should be in great shape for our game!" Elias began setting up the board. "I believe it is your week to be white."

"Yes, I believe you are right."

Elias finished setting up the board and turned it so that the white side was in front of Finch. Finch moved a pawn and the game was on.

Elias and Finch kept up a certain amount of small talk. They chatted about the mayor's new anti-crime initiative, apparently the idea of mayoral aide Alonzo Quinn. Elias dismissed it as "window dressing" and Finch was forced to agree. They discussed Maxine Angelis's recent front page story, and it was obvious that Elias didn't think much of the plucky reporter.

"Everyone knew that Christopher Zambrano wasn't in the mob," he sniffed. "He hated his old man almost as much as I hated mine. Angelis was fed a whopper of a lie, and the bimbo fell for it. She shouldn't have, if she is half as smart as she is supposed to be. Mark my words, Crane, whoever planted that story is not done, not finished, not by a long shot. They are going to cause one or both of us considerable trouble in the near future."

Several moves into the game, the question that Finch was waiting for finally came. "How is John?" Elias asked. Finch did not lift his eyes from the board, Elias always asked about John at some point during his visits. John fascinated Elias, Elias simply could not understand the former operative. Elias was grateful to John for saving his life and somewhat in awe of John's skills, but John puzzled him. John had the skills to obtain just about all the power and money anyone could desire, and yet John didn't use his skills for that, which Elias found perplexing. Elias did not understand anyone who was willing to make sacrifices for complete strangers. John was full of love and caring for the numbers, while Elias had no comprehension of either emotion.

John also scared Elias a little, John was the wild card, the one factor that could not be predicted in all of Elias's careful and meticulous planning. When Elias had kidnapped Carter's son, he certainly had not counted on John being willing to risk his neck for a boy he didn't even know, in addition to having the skills to take down several of Elias's best men. Elias certainly would not have done it, he had never risked his own neck for anyone, and the fact that John did it on a daily basis confounded him. A confused Elias was a scared Elias.

"Mr. Reese is fine. Right now there seems to be another threat to Detective Carter, so he is currently occupied investigating that." Finch looked sternly at Elias. "You did not have anything to do with that, did you?"

Elias shook his head. "You know better than that, Crane. I do not mess with John lightly, and that includes going after his lady love. There is no damage Carter can do to my organization that makes it worth incurring John's wrath. It did not go well for me last time." Elias waved his hand indicating his present address.

Finch nodded. "I didn't think you would, but Mr. Reese wanted me to ask." Finch moved his rook. "I feel sorry for who did put the hit out. Mr. Reese can be quite ruthless, as you well know." Elias twitched, just the tiniest bit at that, but Finch pretended not to see. He wanted to keep Elias somewhat scared of John.

"No one in my organization has heard anything," Elias offered. "They would have told me if they had, they know I like to keep informed of everything related to John."

Finch raised an eyebrow. "Even your people don't know who put out the hit? That's unusual."

Elias shrugged. "That just means that it's not a Mafia hit, or from the Russians. I would look at the South American drug cartels and gun runners if I were you. Though I have to wonder who would be crazy enough to go after the good Detective. I think by now everyone knows that going after her means you will be fighting The Man In A Suit. Most of us would think twice before we would do that. There would have to be a very big pay-off involved before we would challenge John, and I just don't see how killing a police woman would pay big enough to make it worth the trouble. Someone would have to want her dead very, very badly. I would guess this is personal for whoever put out the hit."

Finch looked at Elias. "I'm sure that Mr. Reese appreciates your help. Checkmate."

Inside, Finch was very worried. Elias's analysis made sense, and Finch knew Elias well enough to know that he was rarely wrong when it came to the city's criminal element. Mr. Reese's beloved detective was in the crosshairs of someone very vicious and very reckless.


	3. Chapter 3

Joss Carter was pissed. She was pissed that she was once again one of John's cases, and she was pissed that she still had no idea how he got his information. She was pissed that he didn't trust her enough to tell her where the information came from. She was pissed that his overprotective ass would be all over her until the case was solved.

But she was really pissed that she was in love John Reese.

Carter was not the type of woman to fall for the naughty guys, she was the type of woman who threw them in jail. Even as a teen, she was more likely to lust after the choirboys than the bad boys.

But Reese was an intriguing mix of the two. He broke more laws before lunch on any given day than most crooks broke their entire lives, but he did it for the right reason, to save lives. He would snap a man's neck one minute and then save a kitten the next. He risked his own neck daily for complete strangers, and thought nothing of it.

It didn't hurt that he was six feet two inches of pure drool-worthy gorgeousness. If Joss had any doubts there was a God and he loved the world, one look at John Reese sent those doubts packing. When Joss had seen him walking towards her with baby Leila in her carrier, she thought her ovaries would explode with the sexiness of it all. Every time the burner phone he gave her buzzed, her stomach would do flip flops and her heart would do a happy dance. She did her best to hide her feelings from him and she suspected that she was doing a pretty good job of it.

Joss had been called a goody-two shoes her entire life, but she wore it as a badge of honor. However for the first time in her life, she wished it were in her nature to be a little bit bad, for then she might have a chance with the gorgeous vigilante.

But Carter knew it was hopeless for her. She was a useful asset, nothing more to John. Despite his unrelenting flirting, he didn't even call her by her first name, despite the fact that she called him by his. She was Carter the cop to him, not Jocelyn the woman and her heart hurt a bit at that thought.

She slouched in the passenger seat of the police sedan, arms crossed over her chest, trying to put the thoughts of the sexist vigilante since the invention of the Bat Signal out of her mind. But, as usual when she tried to evict him from her mind, he was stubborn and wouldn't go.

"Joss, don't be mad at the Boss, he's just trying to keep you alive," Fusco said as he got into the car.

Joss grunted. "Yeah, I know, it's his job." The thought that John only cared about her because it was his job to do so stabbed her in the heart.

Fusco turned in the seat so he could look at her. "Do you really think that's all there is to it?"

"What else would there be?" Joss said sourly.

"If you want my opinion, I think he's sweet on you. If I talked to him the way you do, he'd kick my ass."

"Your proof is that he hasn't kicked my ass? That's pretty thin, Fusco." Joss knew she sounded like a sulky child, but she didn't care

"I seen the way he looks at you. Trust me, Carter, you are more than just a job to him."

"First Donnelly and now John, you think everyone is sweet on me." _As IF!_ She thought to herself.

"Just those two, actually, and they both are. What a contrast, eh?"

"Drive Fusco. This conversation is over." Joss glared at him.

"Well excuse me for caring, Detective Carter." Fusco spat out the last two words like they were expletives. "For your information, some of us, including Suit and Glasses, care whether or not you live to see Taylor graduate. We are not trying to trash your precious independence, we are trying to keep you ALIVE."

"For your information, Detective Fusco," Carter snarled, using the exact same tone of voice he used when saying her name. "I've been through two tours of duty in a war zone and policing the streets of New York for over eight years, I'll be just fine."

"Carter, why can't you just accept the fact that you don't have to do this alone? That we got your back?"

"Letting people in hasn't worked out so well for me in the past," she snapped.

"We ain't those people, Carter." Fusco shot back. Carter just glared at him in return.

Fusco pressed his lips into a thin line in frustration. He realized that he was going to be stuck with a prickly Carter all day. He turned the key in the ignition and pulled out into traffic, heading back to the precinct.

Joss remained tense in the seat next to him, but she was carefully considering Fusco's words. What if Fusco was right and she wasn't just another job to John? What if he really cared about her? What if she did let him in? Joss looked out her window so Fusco would not see her eyes tear up. If only it was true, if only there was the possibility. But Joss knew better, she wasn't John's type. His Jessica had been a girlie girl; tall, blonde with the looks of a model. No one ever mistook Joss for a model, she was "one of the guys." She was a plodder, she couldn't soar with the ex-operative.

Carter had gotten to where she was in life by dogged determination and thorough attention to detail. Flying by the seat of her pants was alien to her and her feet were firmly planted on the earth. She secretly admired those who could soar with eagles, living by instinct and making decisions by the seat of their pants, and John Reese was the best she'd ever seen. He waltzed across skies with more grace in his lanky body than a panther. Despite the constant annoyance she displayed towards him, she wished she could dance up there with him.

But Joss knew that those who flew with eagles didn't pair off with earth-bound plodders, so the best she could hope was to be a valued colleague and possibly, some day, a friend.

She took a deep breath and gave herself a good mental kick in the pants. Time to go back to work and stop torturing herself with thoughts of unattainable CIA operatives.

* * *

Coming Monday: John dangles someone off a building :)


	4. Chapter 4

John made his way back to the Library to wait for Finch. When he entered the room, he saw that Finch had already put Carter's picture up on the cracked pane of glass, along with the pictures of some of her enemies. Elias was there, along with Snow and mugshots of some of her recent arrests.

John took a minute to stare at Joss's picture. It was her official police portrait; she was in uniform with her hair in the ever present low ponytail. She was looking into the camera with a ghost of a smile on her face. John thought she was absolutely beautiful. The picture captured her perfect complexion and the intelligence and kindness he'd seen in her eyes at their first meeting. He raised his hand and gently traced her full lips with his finger. He wondered if he would ever get up the courage to kiss those lips and tell her how he felt.

He dropped his hand and closed his eyes; he had no right to love her. She was a good person, she had been helping and protecting people her whole life, and her path had not deviated from that objective at all, unlike him. She had never killed anyone in cold blood, unlike him. In Texas, when they had been searching for Root, it was her meticulous and thorough investigation that had solved the disappearance of Hanna Frey. When John had been ready to fly off with the case half solved, she was the one who kept at it until she brought Hanna's body home and unmasked Root as Samantha Groves. She was the person he wished he could be.

And, whether he had the right or not, he did love her; he finally admitted that to himself after a few months of struggle. He'd felt a connection to her the minute she had walked briskly into the interrogation room to confront the homeless drunk who had beat five thugs on the subway, and every interaction he'd had with her since then fed that connection, and left him wanting more. He called her Carter to try to hold her at arm's length, to remind his heart that she was untouchable for the likes of him, but it wasn't working very well. She had breached his defenses and taken possession of his heart without even trying.

He had to keep her alive.

He looked at the pictures and information Finch had posted on her recent arrests. There were a couple of petty criminals who had accidently killed their victims during robberies and muggings. He dismissed them immediately; they did not have the resources or the smarts to orchestrate a hit on a cop.

He dismissed Elias as well. Finch felt that he was not involved, and Finch was almost always right. He also crossed Snow off the list. Snow was a ruthless bastard, but the CIA did not kill police on US soil. Even Snow would not cross that line.

He looked at the remaining suspects. One was a spoiled rich boy who killed a girl during rough sex. From what Carter had told him about the case and from what he had read in the papers, Bradley Peeler was completely amoral and had all the empathy of a rock. Peeler had probably been getting away with doing horrible things his whole life, thanks to the fact that his parents were members of the Filthy Rich class and were willing to pay out lots of cash to keep their only child out of jail and out of the papers. Peeler had the money to hire a top notch hit man, and John could easily see the spoiled Bradley in his arrogance thinking that he could get away with it.

There was also Carlos Vasquez, head man for the Cordova Cartel in New York. He had shot and killed his mistress in a fit of anger when she informed him that she was pregnant. He already had six kids with his wife and didn't want any more, or so he had told Joss during the interrogation. He was certainly ruthless enough, and he had access to lots of money and all the resources of the cartel.

Suspect number three was Chu Vang, high ranking member of the one of the Bronx gangs. Carter nailed him for a brutal drive by on rival gang members that resulted in six deaths, some of them innocent bystanders. Vang had a whole gang that was willing to do his bidding without hesitation. Killing a cop would be a badge of honor for them.

John let his eyes travel up to Carter's picture again. "You're not alone," he whispered to her and he meant it from his heart, a heart she owned without even realizing it.

He almost jumped as Finch came limping into the room. He had been so engrossed in his thoughts, he hadn't noticed his employer until he was halfway across the room.

"How was your meeting with Elias?" He asked, turning to Finch.

"Just as I thought, Elias is not involved this time." Finch smiled at John. "It seems you make him nervous, Mr. Reese, and he knows the fastest way to anger you is to go after Detective Carter again."

John raised an eyebrow at Finch, "I make him nervous?"

"Yes Mr. Reese. What do you know about Chaos Theory?"

"Chaos Theory? You mean like in _Jurassic Park_ when the computer nerd cut the power and the dinosaurs started eating everyone?"

Finch shot John a look at the mention of computer nerd, but continued. "Yes, exactly. You are the unpredictable element, the loose cannon as it were, the equivalent of that greedy computer programmer from the movie."

Finch stood next to Reese at the pane of glass. "Have you reached any conclusions on our list of suspects?"

"I put Peeler, Vasquez and Vang at the top of the list," Reese replied.

"Elias did say that if it were him, he would pay particular attention to the drug cartels. His organization had not heard of the hit on Carter, so he's pretty sure it's not the Mafia or the Russians."

"He wouldn't know if Peeler or Vang put out a hit, either. Peeler isn't a gang or mob member and Elias doesn't work with any of the Bronx gangs."

Finch looked thoughtful. "No, probably not. So we have three suspects that we know of. And, to make things more complicated, there may still be someone else out there that we don't know about."

John pressed his lips together in a thin line. "I hope not, three is enough," he growled.

"What is your next move, Mr. Reese?"

John turned to the computer and hit a couple of keys. A picture of Carter at her desk popped up on the screen from the doll camera on Fusco's desk. "Carter is still at her desk in the precinct, so I think I will start by having a chat with Bradley Peeler. See if you can find Vang or Vasquez for me while I'm gone."

"I will Mr. Reese, good luck."

* * *

Bradley Peeler was settled comfortably on the terrace overlooking Central Park, eating his lunch and chatting with his best buddy, another amoral trust fund baby, over the phone.

"No, the trial won't be for another couple of months at least. Dad's hired the best lawyers money can buy and they will punch holes in the stupid police bitch's story….No I'm not worried, I pay people to be smarter than that snotty cop."

Suddenly the phone was ripped from his hand and he looked up in the stone cold face of John Reese. John spoke into the phone, "He'll call you back", and he hung up.

"Hey," Bradley whined. "How did you get in here?"

John gave him a predatory smile. "I walked in. Your bodyguard is bit careless."

"What did you do to my bodyguard?"

"Nothing permanent. He'll recover."

Bradley shrank from Reese in fear. Despite Reese's outwardly calm and quiet demeanor; Bradley still sensed that this was a very dangerous individual. Reese oozed menace out of every pore as only he could.

"So, Bradley," Reese said, sitting down in the chair opposite Peeler, "let's talk about that lovely lady cop who arrested your miserable ass for murder."

Bradley's lip curled into a snarl. "The one who thinks she's so clever? If she was so smart, how come she can't afford anything better than a polyester pantsuit?"

"She works for a living, you should try it sometime, it might make you better person." John said softly staring at Bradley the way a wolf stares at a rabbit just before he runs it down and kills it.

"Oh please. That low-class bitch is going down in court when my lawyers get a hold of her."

"I'd watch your mouth Bradley. I happen to care very much for the lady, and I'm the guy who knocked out your expensive bodyguard with one punch."

Bradley looked a bit sick at that; Reese just stared back at him with cold, dead eyes.

"So Bradley, let's cut to the chase. There is a hit out on that lady cop and I was wondering if you had anything to do with it?"

Bradley was not out of false bravado yet. "Why should I tell you?"

Reese moved with insane speed. Before he knew what hit him, Bradley was dangling head first off the terrace, over the street. The only thing that prevented him from plummeting to his death was Reese holding onto his legs.

"Any more questions, Bradley?" Asked Reese in the same quiet, cold voice.

"I swear man, I didn't have anything to do with the hit on the bitch."

Reese let his grip slip a bit and Bradley shrieked like a little girl. "Bradley, remember, I care for the lady cop, I really don't like it when rich brats call her bad names."

"I swear I didn't put a hit out. I have lawyers, I don't need hit men."

Reese, somewhat reluctantly, pulled Peeler up. John slammed him against a wall, grabbed him by the throat and put his face in Bradley's so Peeler could see the death in Reese's eyes, but Reese kept his voice low, quiet and deadly. "Think about this Bradley. The only reason I did not drop you off the side of the building was that that lady detective would be quite upset with me if I did and I don't like upsetting her. However, if I find out that you lied to me, I'll be back, and I WILL drop you off the building the next time, regardless of how the lady feels about it. There is nothing you can do to stop me if I decide to do it.

"Have a nice day Bradley. Don't forget to call your friend back."

And Reese left, stepping over the unconscious form of Peeler's bodyguard in the process.

As soon as he made it to the street, he called Finch. "I don't think Bradley Peeler is our guy, Finch. He doesn't have the brass for a hit."

"Well that cuts our suspect list down to two."


	5. Chapter 5

It was mid-afternoon and the captain strode out of his office and looked around the room of detectives. "Carter, Fusco!" he barked. "We got a new shooting in a street over by Chinatown. Get your butts over there, it's your new case."

Fusco growled in frustration; he had hoped they could spend the day safely inside the precinct, but that was not going to happen. To top it off, they got the worst possible case, a shooting on a busy street where they would be outside and completely exposed. It was the perfect setup for anyone who wanted Carter dead.

Fusco got up and followed Carter out the door to her cruiser. He let her drive, as usual. As soon as his butt hit the seat, he pulled out his phone.

Carter glared at him. "Who are you calling?" She snapped. Actually, she already knew.

"You know darn good and well who I'm calling. Don't try and talk me out of it, it won't work. If anything happens to you, I'm a dead man." Fusco shot back.

He called Reese.

"Hello, Lionel. How are things going with Carter?"

"The usual, she's being Carter," Fusco replied. Carter shot him a dirty look.

Reese smiled. He understood exactly what Fusco meant. However, unlike Fusco, Carter being Carter made John Reese insanely happy.

"I take it you need some help then?" He purred into the phone, his happiness at getting to see Carter twice in one day getting the better of him, despite the circumstances.

"Yeah, we got a call, shooting in the street. We are going to be outside, and more exposed than a flasher," Fusco growled into his phone.

Reese's stomach clenched; outside on a busy street is exactly where he did not want Carter right now. "I'll be right there. Finch did you hear that?"

"Yes Mr. Reese. I'm already monitoring several security cameras in the area, the scene is quite chaotic".

"Just what we don't need," Reese growled in frustration.

John arrived at the scene only few moments after Carter and Fusco. His heart did a happy dance at seeing Joss at work. He loved to watch her work; he found her intensity and passion on the job incredibly hot and sexy. He'd often fantasized about having that passion and intensity directed at him. Reluctantly he tore his eyes from the object of his affections and scanned the area for threats.

"Finch, I don't like this; there's a big crowd of people here and I can't watch them all, even with Fusco's help. There are buildings all around that could shelter a sniper. This is about the worst place possible for Carter."

"I concur with your analysis, Mr. Reese, but I don't think we can do anything about it. This is her assignment."

Reese sighed. Finch was right, but he still didn't like it. He didn't know what he would do if he lost her. He caught Fusco's eye and Fusco gave him a quick head shake, as if to say _Nothing we can do_. Fusco was plainly unhappy, too.

Finch was also on edge. He knew if they lost Carter, he would lose Reese as well, especially if Carter died while she was supposed to be under Reese's protection. Finch knew Reese would blame himself for her death and self destruct in his grief and guilt. Harold was fully aware that there were two lives in the balance, not one, and he caught himself holding his breath.

Carter was oblivious to all the worrying being done over her by the three men. She was busy on the case, questioning witnesses and bagging evidence. Fusco was sticking as close as he could to her, but he was fully aware of their exposed position. He kept shooting nervous looks over at Reese, but John was as much at a loss as Fusco was. There was simply nothing they could do at this point except hope for the best and expect the worst.

It didn't take long for the worst to happen. John saw the car first as it came barreling down the street at a high rate of speed. As soon as he saw the vehicle, John knew it was the attempt on Joss he had been waiting for. He immediately began running towards her, and shouting at Fusco. Hearing John's shouts, Fusco looked up, saw the car and began running towards Joss as well. John reached Carter just as the occupants of the car opened fire. John tackled her to the ground, shielding her with his body as the bullets flew.

It was over in just a few seconds. The car sped off and John rolled off Joss onto his knees so he could check her for injuries. His heart stopped when he saw blood on her arm. Carter quickly clamped her hand over the wound. "It's just a graze, John, I'll be fine in a few minutes," she said when she saw the look on his face.

John got up and pulled her to her feet. He grabbed her good arm in an iron grip and started walking her to her car. Fusco came running up. "Is it bad?" He asked when he saw the blood on her arm.

"We will see when I get her someplace safe," John said grimly.

"John, I can't leave the scene of an investigation," Joss protested.

Fusco opened the passenger door of her car. "Carter, shut up and get in the fucking car!" He snarled at her. Carter looked shocked and John smiled at Fusco. Carter got in the car without another word, while John took the wheel.

"Tell your boss she was taken to the hospital, make the wound sound worse than it is, Carter is about to take a medical leave of absense.

"Will do, and good luck keeping her contained."

"I heard that, Fusco!" Carter yelled at him as the car drove off.

"Finch, I'm taking her to my place,"John said.

"Is the detective badly hurt? I have several doctors on speed dial I can call."

"I don't think so, but I'll let you know if we need one."

* * *

Reese unlocked the door to his loft and ushered Carter into the apartment. She entered tentatively; slowly, looking around.

"Wow, John; this is nice. I had no idea that being a vigilante paid so well."

John smiled at her. "Finch is a generous employer. This was my birthday present."

"Make sure he knows my birthday is in September, OK?" She joked.

She still had her right hand clamped over the wound on her left arm and blood had seeped through her fingers. John gently touched her hand. "Lets get that fixed up, shall we?"

Carter nodded and let John lead her to a seat at the island that separated the kitchen from the living room. He opened a cabinet containing medical supplies and extracted what he needed. He spread them out on the counter next to Carter and tore the sleeve off her blouse. Carter made a face.

"Relax, it's just a shirt, Carter. I'll get you another one."

Carter sighed, "I know John. It's just that I really liked the color of this one."

John smiled warmly at her; he actually liked that color on her a lot too. He started working on her arm. He cleaned it, causing her to hiss when the antiseptic touched the wound. John shot her an apologetic look. She gave him a weak smile back.

The sting from the antiseptic aside, John had plenty of experience when it came to dressing wounds of this type and his long, elegant fingers had a very gentle touch. He was soon done with a minimum amount of pain to his patient.

When he was done he gave Carter a cocky grin. "Do you want to me to kiss it and make it better?" Carter shot him a dirty look, and his grin got wider.

He was just glad she was alive. The close call had shaken him badly, though he would never admit it.

"Carter, I think you should stay here for the night, maybe for the next few days until we figure out who is trying kill you."

"John…" She started to argue.

"No arguments," John snapped. "If they are bold enough to take a potshot at you at a crime scene with all those police around, think about what they will do when they get you home alone."

Carter hung her head. John really wanted to put his arms around her and hold her tight, to comfort her; hell, to comfort himself, but he settled for gently touching her wrist. He had no right to touch her, and he rather doubted she would appreciate more touching than he gave her.

"Can I at least go back to my apartment and get some things? I'm guessing you don't have clothes that fit me," she said tiredly. It was obvious that the strain of the events of the day was finally catching up with her.

"No, they might be watching your place. I'll go get some things for you," John told her sternly.

"Oh I don't think so! What makes you think I'm going to let you paw through my underwear drawer?" The old Joss was back and snapping at him.

John barely suppressed a thrill at the idea of rummaging through Joss's panties. "Would you prefer I send Finch?" He asked smoothly.

"Please leave me out of your little panty raid, Mr. Reese," Finch said in a panicky voice.

"Well Finch, Carter can't go to her place, the hit men may be watching it and she doesn't wear the same size I do. I doubt she wears your size either and she is going to need something to wear." Carter rolled her eyes, she was used to Finch being a third unseen party in her conversations with John.

"I have a better idea, Mr. Reese, there is a highly rated boutique around the corner from your place. Take her there and purchase what she needs."

John smirked over at Joss. "Feel like shopping?"

"A little shopping therapy would be nice John, but I'm saving up for Taylor's Washington trip," Joss sighed.

"Finch is buying."

"Well, that puts a new spin on things," Joss said hopping off the chair. "Let's go!"

John escorted Joss around the corner to the address Finch had sent him. Joss paused when she saw the place. "Um...John, this place looks expensive. I'm more of a JC Penny's kind of girl."

John smirked, "Don't worry, you could buy everything in the store and it wouldn't matter to Finch. Come on, we can't stand out in the street." And John hustled her inside.

He stood by the door and kept an eye out while Joss flipped through the rack of jeans looking for her size. John was not going to take any chances with her.

He stole a glance at Joss. She looked at a price tag and her eyes nearly popped out of her head. He smiled inside, he was glad he got to buy her some nice things, she deserved them. She had a couple pairs of jeans over her arm and was hunting through the t-shirts. She pulled out a deep red one and held it up against her body to check the size and John caught his breath, the color looked spectacular on her. He was very pleased when she added it to the other clothes she was carrying. She picked up a sky blue shirt as well, and then walked over to the dressing rooms. John moved rapidly over to intercept her and make sure the dressing room was clear before he let her enter.

He stood guard outside, trying to act like a bored boyfriend while maintaining his watchfulness. The clerk smiled at him, "How nice of you to buy your girlfriend some new things!" John smiled back at her, "She's worth it." He meant it.

Joss came out of the dressing room to use the big three way mirror by the dressing room entrance. John nearly gasped. She was wearing the red shirt, and it looked every bit as good on her as he thought it would; and then some. The jeans hugged her rear end perfectly. He never thought a simple jean and t-shirt outfit could look so good.

Joss turned to him, "I think this outfit costs something like two days salary."

John smirked at her, "Not for Finch. What else do you need?"

"Some underwear, a couple of bras and some pajamas."

The clerk looked up from folding clothes, "Oh, we are all out of pajamas. We just had a sale, and we haven't gotten our new shipment yet."

"Great, now what do I sleep in?" Joss grumbled.

"You can use one of my shirts. Finish shopping and let's get back to the apartment. I'll feel a lot better when you are safe inside."

Joss grabbed the last few things she needed. John followed her to the register and pulled out his wallet. He had about a dozen credit cards under various names to choose from, but he paused, then took out the one card that was linked to his personal account. He wanted to buy these things for her, even if she thought it was Finch doing the buying. He passed the card over to the clerk.

Then he hustled her back to his loft.


	6. Chapter 6

Late that night, John was awakened by Joss's screams. He leapt off the couch and ran to her. He found her sitting up in bed her eyes wide with terror and he understood instantly what had happened. He had seen it and experienced it many times before. Night terrors brought on by memories of war.

Keeping his voice low and soothing, he kept repeating, "It's OK, I'm here, I'm right here," as he climbed onto the bed. He took her in his arms so that he was sitting up and leaning against the headboard holding her against his chest, holding her tightly and securely. She buried her face in his chest and began to cry. He held her tightly, rocking her gently, talking soothingly to her in his soft voice.

Finally she got control of herself. "I'm sorry I woke you," she murmured against his chest.

John hugged her tightly, "It's OK, I've had my own nights where I woke up screaming. Do you want to talk about it? Who is Mary?"

Joss sagged against him, "Was I screaming for her?"

"Yes."

"I guess I owe you an explanation, since I ruined your night."

"No, you don't. You don't have to tell me anything if you don't want to," John assured her.

Joss decided she did want to tell John about it; if anyone could understand it would be him. "Mary was my best friend in my unit in Iraq. She was from a small town in Georgia, and had the most wonderful southern accent. She was a pretty blonde with big blue eyes. Yeah, we were complete opposites, but we loved each other like sisters. We had each other's backs.

"She was honest and loyal to a fault. You would have liked her a lot.

"One night our base was attacked by insurgents with rocket grenades. Our barracks took a direct hit."

John nodded, he had been in Iraq at the same time, not too far away actually, and he'd heard about how the women's barracks had been targeted. It bothered him to think that his precious Joss had only been a few miles away, under attack, and he had not been there, even if he had not known her at the time. His elite unit could have stopped the attack cold.

"I take it Mary died in the attack?"

"That's the short version, yes. I got a Purple Heart, she got a coffin." She wouldn't look at him.

"What's the longer version?" he asked softly, stroking her back.

For an answer, Joss pulled down the covers so John could see an ugly scar on her upper thigh. Before he realized what he was doing, he reached down and lightly ran his fingers over it. It looked to him that something fairly large, with an irregular shape had pierced her thigh.

"We were asleep in our room when the attack began. Before we could get to our designated shelter, the building collapsed on us. A chunk of wood got stuck in my thigh, pinning me in the wreckage. Mary got it worse, she got a chunk of steel in her chest". Carter paused, tears filling her eyes, her voice choking. "She didn't die right away…she called out to me…asking me to help her. I couldn't move…I couldn't get to her…" Carter buried her face in John's chest and began to sob again.

John pulled Joss into a tight hug and held her while she cried. He knew what it was like to watch a friend die; he'd done it a few times. He knew well that helpless feeling when you realized that your buddy was doomed and there wasn't a damn thing you could do about it. He'd woken up screaming over it many times himself.

John held her and stroked her hair while she cried for her lost friend. When she had completely cried herself out, he reached over to the box of tissues on the nightstand and handed her several sheets. She wiped her eyes and blew her nose, an act John found oddly endearing.

John smiled down at her, "Feel better?"

Joss sighed and laid her head back against his chest, "I don't think I will ever feel better."

"Do you have this dream often?"

"No, not anymore. When I first came back from over there, I had the dream every week, sometimes two or three times. Now I just have it when I'm stressed."

"So being here with me in my place is stressful?" John gently teased.

Joss actually smiled up at him. "I think it's the death threats and getting shot. You make me feel safe."

John was briefly stunned into silence by that revelation.

"Try and get some rest, I'll be right here, for as long as you let me." he reassured her. Joss snuggled down, with her head back on his chest. A few minutes later, her steady breathing told him she was asleep. He followed her a few minutes after that.

* * *

Joss woke the next morning, confused. It took her a minute to remember where she was. Then she realized she was sleeping on someone.

"Good morning," said an amused and familiar soft voice. Joss looked up into the amazing blue eyes of John Reese. She could not help but smile at him.

"Thanks, for last night," she said shyly.

"It was my pleasure, Carter," John said, letting go of her reluctantly and sliding off the bed before he did something more than just hold her.

John headed for the kitchen, "Do you like pancakes?"

"Pancakes? Love them!"

"Good, I always fix them for pretty girls who spend the night."

John had his back to her, so he did not see Carter's face fall. She wondered how many times he had fixed those pancakes. Suddenly her appetite vanished.

Looking around for some sort of distraction before she started grilling Reese on his love life, Carter spied Reese's sniper rifle sitting out on the coffee table. "Wow, is that a Barrett M107? I never thought I would see one of these again! May I?"

Reese smiled and nodded and Carter picked the big gun up, lifted it to her shoulder and looked through the sight. She handled the weapon like a pro. Contrasting her enthusiasm for the weapon with Finch's nervousness just having it in the same room made John's smile even wider.

They had so much in common; like him, she had been through the horrors of war and lost friends to it. She was comfortable around the weapons he used in his work. She challenged him constantly, and she didn't take any crap from him. She understood him in ways no other person ever had.

And yet she was still all woman. He let his eyes travel down her luscious curves to her perfectly shaped and surprisingly long legs. He wanted to lock this picture of her in his mind; her standing there in nothing but his white dress shirt, hefting his big gun like the pro she was. This was going to fuel a lot of fantasies later.

John nearly burned the pancakes watching her, but he rescued them in time and they shared compatible breakfast discussing the case. John decided to spend the day hunting Chu Vang since drive-bys fit his M.O.

"What am I supposed to do?" Joss grumbled.

"Stay here, stay INSIDE," John gave her the same BAMF look that had caused several hardened criminals to wet themselves. It didn't work on Joss.

"No, seriously, what AM I supposed to do all day?"

John actually understood what she was saying, the idea of being cooped up all day against his will was a special kind of hell for him. When he was recuperating from the CIA's bullet wound, he'd been ready to chew his leg off in frustration. She was like him, used to being on the streets, doing something worthwhile.

"I get about a thousand channels, including all the movie channels. Order all the movies you want. I can also have Finch bring some books over."

Joss almost bit his head off, but stopped when she realized he was really trying to help. She sighed, "I'll think of something, I guess."


	7. Chapter 7

**Thanks to everyone who has left a review, I really appreciate each and every one. I've tried to respond to everyone who has an account with FF and had their PM s turned on, and I am sorry if I missed anyone. I appreciate all the Guest reviews as well and I wish I respond to them too!**

**I also want to take a second to thank my awesome Betas, ReeseisLAVAhot and Maddsgirl75. You guys are the best!**

* * *

While John was out tracking Chu Vang, his phone buzzed with the distinctive ring he had assigned to Joss's phone.

"What's wrong?" he asked as a greeting.

Joss laughed, and John's heart soared. "Nothing, I was just wondering if I could coax you into coming home for dinner."

John smiled, Joss was probably climbing the walls and needed some company. He was more than happy to spend some time with her.

"Sure, what did you want me to pick up on my way home?"

"Nothing, actually. I thought I would fix you dinner if you were coming home. I might as well fix you a good meal for saving my life, for what is this, the third time?"

Joss cooking him dinner? Oh, YEAH.

"That sounds…nice. I'm trying to track down Chu Vang now, I'll be home around 8."

"See you then."

* * *

John couldn't help it, when he saw the street vendor selling flowers he stopped and bought Joss a bouquet. He wanted to make her smile at him. He wanted to pretend that she was in his loft because she wanted to be there, wanted to be with him, not because she needed a place to hide. He wanted to pretend, just for few moments, that she was his. God knows he was hers, even if she didn't know it, and even if she didn't want him.

Holding the bouquet behind his back he walked into the loft and cheerfully called out, "Hi honey, I'm home!" He had always wanted to do to that.

Joss was busy in the kitchen and gave him that sideways look with a small smile as she usually did when he made some smart ass comment that amused her.

"Dinner's almost ready", she informed him. "Can you set the table?"

"First you'll need to take these off my hands", he said, holding out the bouquet to her. Her face lit up with the hoped for smile. "Oh, you shouldn't have!" she exclaimed.

John answered her smile with one of his own. "I figured you've had a rough couple of days and could use a little pick-me-up."

"That was very thoughtful of you", and buried her nose in the flowers while her eyes shined at him above the blooms. John had to fight hard not bend down and kiss her right then, she looked so gorgeous, so happy.

Joss was looking up at him, wondering how a CIA assassin could be so thoughtful. And handsome. She wished she had the guts to stand on her toes and give him a kiss.

John finally broke eye contact. '"There's a vase in the cupboard over there", he indicated with a wave of his hand, and he busied himself setting the table. Joss put the flowers in the vase and finished up with dinner.

John finished setting the table and paused to watch Joss complete the cooking. It just felt too good to be true have her here and doing something so domestic like cooking him dinner. He wanted this to be more than it really was so badly it almost made him physically sick. But he knew as soon the danger was over, she would be gone and the loft would go back to being the lonely environment it was when it was just him. Funny, he never thought of the big loft as lonely before, but having Joss there had made it so warm, so much like a real home, that he knew he was going to miss her when she was gone.

Carter looked up and paused in plating the roast, "What's wrong, John? You look so pensive."

"Just thinking about the case," he lied.

"Judging from the expression on your face, it's not going well," she sounded worried.

"We still don't know who is after you, and it worries me. Carter, you are the only person in NYC whose list of enemies is nearly the size of mine."

Joss put the platter on the table, "I'm a cop John, it happens."

"It makes keeping you alive somewhat problematic, though."

Joss paused for a minute then looked at him, her eyes wide and gentle, "Thank you, for trying to keep me alive."

John was bit flustered by Joss's sudden vulnerability, and he instantly wished he could take back his reply, "It's my job." Joss pressed her lips together in a thin line and looked away, while John's inner voice screamed at him, "YOU IDIOT!"

Joss was hurt by that comment, but not surprised. Her inner voice was sneering at her, "Of course it's his job. Did you think you were special?"

Joss recovered quickly with a sad smile, "Well, dinner's ready."

They sat down to dinner and Reese was pleasantly surprised to find that it was delicious. He had not had a home cooked meal in a very long time and it made him love Carter just a little bit more.

Joss watched John carefully out of the corner of her eye while he ate. She was pleased that he was enjoying the dinner she had fixed for him. She meant it when she said she wanted to pay him back for saving her yet again. Besides she had never seen him eat before and it made him seem more human somehow, not that she thought of him as not being human; on the contrary she knew that he was all man, in a superhero sort of way.

She found herself fascinated by his hands; they were huge, with long elegant fingers. She had seen those fingers handle numerous deadly weapons with skill and confidence, and put a world of hurt on too many bad guys to count, yet she wondered what it would feel like to have them wander over her body. She briefly imagined those fingers lightly running down her bare back to grip her ass and hold her body against his so he could drive himself deep into her. The thought caused a rush of heat between her legs and she hoped John didn't notice the blush that spread across her cheeks.

But he did notice. "Carter, are you alright? The wound isn't getting infected is it? You look a bit feverish", he said with concern in his voice. He reached over to her and put one of those large hands on her forehead, feeling for a temperature.

Joss waved him off and gave him a weak smile, "I'm fine, I'm just hot from cooking." Mentally she slapped herself silly for letting her imagination get the better of her in front of him.

She hopped up and began clearing the table. "I rearranged and cleaned your Closet of Mass Destruction over there."

"You touched my GUNS?" John scurried over to his gun closet and looked in. He was forced to admit that it was much better organized now. He had just added guns to the stash as he obtained them; he hadn't really had time to organize them properly. Now everything was neatly arranged with the correct ammunition right next to each weapon.

"And did you forget to clean the grenade launcher after I used it on that big Aryan dude?"

"Um, yeah, I might have. I was focused on finding Finch at the time."

"It's clean now."

John picked the gun up and examined it. It was immaculate. "Thanks."

John shut the door to the gun closet; between the cooking and the gun cleaning, he was seriously considering locking her in his loft and never letting her go.

* * *

Later that night Joss woke up confused. It was late and dark and for a minute she had no idea where she was. Then her arm throbbed and she remembered where she was and why. She felt afraid and alone. Quietly she got out bed and went looking for John, seeing him would make her feel better.

Joss peeked over the back of the couch at a sleeping Reese. He was laying on his back, one arm was up on the pillow by his head and the other was resting on his stomach. He was shirtless and her eyes hungrily devoured his muscular chest and lean swimmer's build. His hair was disheveled and his face was relaxed; he looked almost boyish. Joss could not help but stare at him. She'd thought he looked handsome before, now she couldn't find the words to describe him.

Embarrassed by the way she was staring, Joss slunk back to the bed. But she kept looking across the room at the back of the couch, she could just barely see the his fingers hanging off the arm. The bed felt very cold and very lonely.

She laid there and stared the ceiling. Being so close, yet so far, to a sleeping, shirtless Reese was killing her.

She lay there for what seemed like hours when she heard Reese muttering in his sleep, if she had been asleep she would not have heard it. She sat up in bed listening. He was obviously upset and he kept saying what sounded like "Jess" and "No" over and over again.

Joss got out of bed and went to him. The pained look on his face wounded her heart and she knelt on the floor next to the couch. "I guess it's my turn now" she mumbled and gently shook him awake.

But John was not saying "Jess", he was saying "Joss" and he was having a nightmare about her. They had been making love, a dream he frequently had these days. She was on top, riding him like a stallion and he was telling her how much he loved her. She had just opened her mouth to tell him that she loved him too, when he heard the sound of a gunshot and she toppled over onto the bed, dead with a bullet hole in her temple. Her large brown eyes stared back at him lifelessly and a red stain spread slowly across the bed as he desperately tried to revive her, frantically calling her name over and over again.

When Reese woke up to see a live and healthy Joss there in front of him, he grabbed her into a tight embrace. Joss was surprised, but she put her arms around him, trying to comfort him as best she could. He buried his face in her hair, grateful she was alive. The dream had been so vivid and he was badly shaken. Joss held him while gently rubbing his back to reassure him.

Finally John broke the embrace and cradled Joss's head in his hands, staring at her like he didn't quite believe she was there. Joss, unsure as to why John was so upset, finally just asked, "Are you alright? You were calling for Jess."

John wasn't quite sure why he did what he did next. Maybe it was because he thought he was still dreaming, maybe because he just needed her to know how he felt, or maybe it was because he needed to reassure himself that she was really there and really OK.

He pulled her back into another tight embrace and looked down at her while she looked up at him in confusion. "I wasn't calling for Jess, I was calling for JOSS." And he kissed her, a searing kiss that burned her down to her core.

Joss returned his kiss with all the passion she felt at that moment. Like John, she was never really sure why she decided to let herself go at that moment. She knew it was a bad idea, that getting emotionally involved with someone of John's shady background and current disregard for the law was taking a huge risk for a sworn officer of the law. Besides, his present occupation practically guaranteed that they would not grow old together.

But the moment that John started kissing her, none of that mattered. She wanted him, she wanted him with her whole heart. She had a million reasons to not love him, but her heart didn't care about a single one of them. She had seen this man save too many innocent lives, including hers and her son's, to care. She wanted him and she would give herself to him if he would have her.

They kept kissing and John felt his erection grow rock hard. Reluctantly, he gently pulled away from her.

"What's wrong, John?" Joss looked hurt.

"Joss, if we keep this up, I'm not going to be able to stop at kissing."

Joss knew they should stop, but dammit she didn't want to, she wanted this, she wanted HIM. To her amazement he seemed to want her as well. Now was not the time to stop, now was the time to do what she _wanted_ to do.

Joss reached down and touched him, causing him to close his eyes and moan. "What makes you think I want to stop at kissing?" she whispered in his ear.

"I'm damaged goods", he managed gasp out.

"Oh John, I don't believe you are as damaged as you think you are. No one who cares for others like you care could be."

John reached down and grabbed her hand. His intense blue eyes bored into her soft brown ones and Joss gasped at the need she saw there. "Once I touch you, I won't stop, ever. This is not casual, this is not a one night stand for me, so you had better be sure", he said tightly.

For her answer, Joss shook off his hand, and whispered "What makes you think I would ever want you to stop?" She began stroking him, while looking him straight in the eye, challenging him. John watched her for a minute and then decided to act. He unbuttoned the dress shirt he had loaned her and began kissing her neck and shoulder, down to her breasts. He took a minute to stare at her breasts, to marvel at how beautiful and perfect they were, and her nipples responded by becoming hard and tight under his gaze. He took a breast in each hand, playing with them until she moaned.

He pulled her onto his lap so that she was straddling him and he hungrily took one of her breasts in his mouth worrying and teasing her nipple with his teeth and tongue. She arched her back to give him better access while running her fingers through his hair. He began sucking on her nipple, making her moan his name.

She rolled her hips, causing him to groan. He lightly ran his hands down her back to grab her ass and she giggled. It felt every bit as good as she had imagined it earlier over dinner. She looked down into his eyes and they were so full of love that she was momentarily stunned. The thought that John Reese loved her was so unexpected, so shocking to her, that she had trouble comprehending it.

"Joss", John asked, gently laying one large hand on her cheek, "what's wrong? Do you want to stop?"

"No, NO, it's just that, I never thought, never dreamed, that you, of all people, would want me."

John kissed her deeply, "Why wouldn't I want you?" He said softly, "you're so beautiful, so strong." His hands dug into her hips and firmly held her in place while he ground himself against her. She felt every millimeter of him, even through his pants. "Oh God, John", she groaned and her head dropped to his shoulder.

John gently moved her off his lap and laid her so her head was on the pillow. He stood up and removed his pants. Joss reached for his erection but he grabbed her hand and moved it away, "No, I'm going to come inside you".

He settled between her legs, gently teasing her clit with his tip of his cock until Joss was incoherent with pleasure. Then he poised himself at her entrance and with one swift thrust buried himself in her. She was everything he had imaged her to be, tight and hot and he knew he could never touch another woman again; she was the only one for him. It felt so right he could have cried.

Joss could not remember ever having felt so full, so complete. She had the man she craved inside her, the man she dreamed about night after night. Now he was buried inside of her and he had surpassed even her dreams. He was staring down at her like she was his whole world.

She was just a puddle of water right then, she had no control over her body, all she could do was react to John and everything that he was making her feel. She had nothing left for anything else. Her whole world narrowed to this man and what he was doing to her. Not even her husband had made her feel this way.

Just when Joss thought she could not take any more pleasure, John's mouth found her breast and bit down on her nipple. She arched her back and screamed his name.

He thrust into her again and again. He tried to control himself, to make this last as long as he could, but he found he was utterly unable to control himself; he wanted her too badly. He felt her walls clench around him as her orgasm ripped through her body. A couple of thrusts latter, he climaxed and emptied himself into her.

He collapsed on top of her, trembling as he came down off the intensity of the orgasm. He buried his face in her neck as he regained his senses. Joss's arms were around his torso, holding him tight against her. He realized he was probably crushing her. Gently he slid out of her and she whimpered at the loss. He slipped off her and stood on the floor, then he picked her up in his arms, while she threw her arms around his neck and kissed him.

John carried Joss to the bed, placed her on it and climbed in behind her, spooning with her. He gently nuzzled her neck and shoulder while she sighed happily and snuggled back into his warmth. They fell asleep a few minutes later, happy and content. For John, it the first time in years he'd felt that kind of happiness.


	8. Chapter 8

John woke to the sun streaming in the windows. He was confused at first; he was normally up at dawn, but then Joss stirred against him and the memories of the previous night came flooding back. He smiled happily. For the first time in a long time he had slept soundly.

He looked down at the reason for his new found contentment. He still could not believe that Joss was here and she seemed to want him every bit as much as he wanted her. He knew he wasn't exactly prime relationship material and knew she was smart enough to know that as well. He had no idea why this had happened, but he had no regrets, and he swore to himself that he was going to do everything in his power to be sure she wasn't going to have any regrets either.

He kissed her on her ear and her eyes opened slowly. She smiled happily, almost shyly at John.

"Good morning, beautiful," he said. She smiled and took him in her arms, just the way she had many, many times in his dreams. He began kissing her….

….And there was a knock on the door. Joss couldn't help it, she giggled.

John growled low in his throat, "Finch."

"If we ignore him, will he go away?" Joss asked hopefully.

"Doubt it, he has a key," John snapped.

Joss planted one last kiss on her new lover and scurried off to the bathroom to take a shower. John pulled on his pants and answered the door.

Finch, apparently oblivious to what he had interrupted, limped in carrying a box from a local bakery and a drink carrier with three cups while Bear danced around him, hoping for a dropped treat. Finch took one look at Reese, shirtless and disheveled, and raised an eyebrow. "Late night Mr. Reese?" he enquired politely.

"You could say that Finch," John replied cheerfully. Nothing was going to ruin his good mood.

"Where is Detective Carter?"

"She's taking a shower."

"I'll wait for her. I think she will want to hear my news, too."

Fortunately, Joss did not take long showers and she soon joined them.

"I have good news for you. I was able to get a picture of the shooter's car from one of the security cameras in the area that had a good view of the driver's face. I was able to use facial recognition software to compare that picture to the NYPD and FBI mugshot files. It took a while, but I was able to identify the driver as a member of the Cordova Cartel, a man by the name of Pedro Hinojosa."

"So Carlos Vasquez is the one who put the hit on Joss." John's eyes grew hard and cold as he slipped back into operative mode. Joss got a bit of a chill looking at him, glad that demeanor was not directed at her.

"It would appear so," Finch nodded.

"So, what now?" Joss asked, looking at John.

"You are going to stay here while I go hunt down and deal with Vasquez."

"That may be problematic, Mr. Reese. I hacked the security system at his home, he has not been there for days."

"John, I can help, I know a guy on the drug task force. They might know where to find Vasquez," Joss protested.

"Mr. Reese, I think we should utilize every lead we have to bring this case to a quick conclusion," Finch said.

John remained unconvinced, "There is a price on Joss's head and I don't want her wandering around the city. Besides, she's supposed to be on medical leave."

Joss rolled her eyes, "All I have to do is put my arm in a sling and put a bigger bandage on my wound and it will look much worse than it is. Easy. If it will make you feel better, John, you can come with me."

John pressed his lips into a thin line. "You can count on that. Call your friend on the drug task force."

Joss smiled and picked up her phone. Finch handed John a printout of various addresses, "According to the NYPD files, these are known hangouts, safe houses and, um, places of business for Vasquez."

John looked over Joss, she was finishing up her call, "OK then, I'll see you at Burger Barn at 1."

"So we have a date with your friend?"

"Yep, hope you like big greasy burgers, Burger Barn is his favorite place."

John checked the clock on the wall, "I'm going to get dressed and check on some of Vasquez's known hangouts before we meet your Narc pal."

Finch finished off his tea and threw the cup in the trash. "I'll be at HQ, then," and he left with Bear.

Joss sulked a bit while John got dressed. He knew she was going crazy cooped up all day, but it was better than wandering the streets and getting killed.

She was leaning against the door jamb in the bathroom talking with him while he shaved and combed his hair. When he reached for the hair gel he used to tame the cowlick that had annoyed him for his entire life, Joss reached out and stopped him.

"What?' He looked over at her puzzled.

"Leave it, I like the cowlick," she responded.

John looked at her, shocked, "Really? You like my _cowlick_?"

"Yeah, I do, it's adorable."

John rolled his eyes, "Joss, honey, the bad guys are not going to be intimidated by an adorable cowlick!"

Joss snorted, "John, when you get all angry, you look plenty scary. Trust me, no one is going to be looking at your cowlick except me, and I like it." She smiled and ran her fingers through his hair, causing his cowlick to stand up even more. John scowled and smoothed it back down as best he could.

"OK fine, I'll leave the cowlick alone, if you promise to stay inside until I come back to get you."

Joss stood on her toes and gave him a long, lingering kiss that almost made him forget Carlos Vasquez. "I promise," she whispered to him.

* * *

Later that day, John followed Joss into the dingy little burger joint. He made her pause by the door so that he could give the place a good look. Satisfied there no threats, he allowed her to lead him to a back table where a scruffy looking man was wolfing down the biggest burger John had seen in a long time. John was actually kind of impressed by the guy's appetite.

The guy took one look at John's short, neat haircut and suit and said, "Fed?"

Joss simply said "Good guess." She didn't say it was a wrong guess.

John and Joss settled into seats at the table. "John Richards, Les Mulroney," Joss introduced them.

Mulroney polished off the last bite of his monster burger and wiped his mouth. He gave Joss a surprisingly boyish grin, "You should try the Bad Boy Burger, Joss. It's the best in NYC!"

"Thanks, but I try to not eat anything bigger than my head," Joss shot back. Mulroney laughed.

"So, I'm guessing that you aren't here looking for restaurant reviews," Mulroney said jovially.

"I need some intel on Carlos Vasquez of the Cordova Cartel," Joss said.

"I hear you popped him for murder."

"Yeah, and he's kinda mad at me for it."

John nodded, "We think he has put a hit on Joss. We identified some cartel members as the ones who put the bullet hole in her arm." John jerked his head in the direction of the sling Joss was wearing that tied her heavily bandaged left arm firmly to her body.

Mulroney looked sober, "I heard about that. Are you sure it was the cartel?"

"We have positively identified Pedro Hinojosa as the driver of the car," John assured him.

Mulroney looked thoughtful, "That's not their M.O. at all, Cordova are normally smarter than that. They have Robert Malcolm on speed dial."

"The attorney?" John was surprised. Malcolm seemed to be too upscale for drug runners.

"Correction, the _expensive_ attorney, but yeah, him. I wouldn't think they would be shooting at Joss, they usually just let that snake Malcolm handle legal issues. They like to try to present a front of being a legitimate shipping company." Mulroney put air quotes around the last three words.

"Les, we do have a positive ID on Hinojosa maybe someone jumped the gun," Joss pointed out

Mulroney looked doubtful, but said, "I suppose being popped for murder one would scare someone stupid. Still feels off to me though."

"Do you know where we can find Vasquez?" Joss asked. "He appears to have dropped out of sight since he was let out on bail. He's not at any of his usual hangouts, businesses or homes."

"Yeah, I heard he dropped off the Earth. There was a rumor that Cordova has a new warehouse at the docks. I haven't had a chance to check it out, so I don't know if it's legit or not, but I would start there. I'll squeeze my usual informants and see if they come up with anything else." Mulroney scribbled down an address and handed it over to Joss.

"Thanks Les. I appreciate it," Joss said.

"Just stay alive, girl," Mulroney said seriously.

"I fully intend to keep her alive," John assured the Narc, grimly.

* * *

John dropped Joss at his loft. Before she got out of the car, she turned to him, "Do you think you can make it home for dinner? I have a long afternoon ahead of me, I might as well cook again."

John could not help the big goofy grin he got his face, and he pulled her over for a kiss, "Of course. If my woman is cooking, I'll be home."

Joss laughed at John calling her his woman, but it actually sounded pretty good to her. She belonged to him, no doubt about it. She hopped out of the car.

John watched her enter the building, and then drove off. He had someone else he needed to talk to.

He parked a few blocks from Taylor's school and texted the teen to meet him when school was out. Fifteen minutes later Taylor got into the car.

"Is something wrong with Mom?" the teen asked.

"No your mom is fine, but I do need talk to you about something." It was obvious from the way he was drumming his fingers on the steering wheel and not meeting Taylor's eyes that John was nervous. Taylor raised his eyebrows; he was curious about what could make a man like John nervous, especially if that issue was to be discussed with a high school student.

John dropped his bombshell, "I was wondering if it would be OK with you if I started seeing your mom."

Taylor's mouth flopped open. He couldn't believe his ears, "John, are you asking my permission to date my MOTHER?"

"I guess I am. I know that the two of you are a family and anything having to do with your mother affects you, too. I want to be sure you are OK with having me around."

"John, seriously?" Taylor said. John bowed his head, bracing himself for Taylor telling him to stay the hell away from his mother.

"That would be so cool if you started dating Mom!"

John looked up, startled. "Really?" He had expected Taylor to be resentful of his intrusion into the cozy little family Joss and Taylor had established.

"Yeah. Do you have any idea how much I worry about her? She tries to hide how dangerous her job is, but I know she deals with some really bad dudes. With you around, I don't have to worry so much. I know you'll have her back."

John smiled, "I will protect her no matter what." Then he grew very serious, "You do know that this would not be a normal relationship, right? There are things you won't be able to tell your grandmother or your friends. There are things your mother and I won't be able to tell you."

Taylor thought for a minute; he'd had a feeling since he'd met the Man in a Suit, as he'd heard his mom refer to him, that John's situation was complicated. Under questioning, Joss had hinted to him of some dark things in John's past and even she didn't have the whole story. Taylor was a smart kid; he knew that anyone with John's Bad Ass skills probably got them by doing things outside the law. But he also knew his mother well enough to know that she would not consent to a relationship with John unless she thought he was a good man and trusted him completely.

"Do you love her?" Taylor asked.

John looked Taylor directly in the eye. "Yes, I do," he admitted.

"Then I'm good."

"Thanks."

John gave Taylor a lift to his grandmothers and then drove to the warehouse that Mulroney had told them about at lunch.

The warehouse was definitely in use, but no one was around except one very bored looking guard. John would have to return later that night.

Since he'd done all he could for now, it was time to head for home. And Joss.

As soon as John walked in the door, Joss flung herself into his arms, kissing him passionately. John laughed and returned her affections. It all felt so GOOD, so right that John was a bit overwhelmed. He was looking forward to another evening at home with his Joss.


	9. Chapter 9

**Since this chapter features some more smut, I felt it was time to change the rating to M.**

**Thanks to everyone who has left a review, reviews keep me going!**

* * *

John gently disengaged from a sleeping Joss. It had been a wonderful evening. Joss had fixed another delicious meal, and dessert…well dessert had been even better. John looked down at his love tenderly. He briefly considered never solving the case and keeping her here in his loft with him forever. But there was Taylor to consider and he wasn't sure how much longer he could keep her cooped up safely in the apartment, even with the death threat hanging over her head, so he had better get going.

John slid off the bed carefully. His plan was to check out the warehouse and return home before Joss missed him. She would want to go with him and the last thing he was going to do was to take her within range of the cartel.

Swiftly he dressed and moved silently to the door. He smiled tenderly as he took one last look at Joss sleeping peacefully and slipped out.

John drove to the docks and parked several blocks away from the warehouse. Even though he had checked it after he talked with Taylor, he wanted to check it at night too. It had shown signs of recent activity and smugglers were more active under the cover of darkness.

John approached the building in stealth mode, every sense on high alert. He was right, there were lights in the warehouse and it looked like the cartel was moving some crates out.

John crept closer so he could listen to the men as they were working. They were speaking in Spanish. John listened for a while and after some bitching about girlfriends who expected expensive jewelry and dinners out, John finally got what he wanted.

"I'm tired of doing manual labor," one of them grumbled. "These crates are heavy."

"Stop complaining before Vasquez hears you; he'll put a bullet in your brain when he gets tired of listening to you."

"I don't see why we have to move these boxes to the other warehouse."

"We have a new shipment coming in tomorrow night, we need the space here on the docks. Now quit whining and drive the damn truck."

John followed the truck to the other location. He spent some time casing the place and determined that Vasquez wasn't there, but he would be sure Joss passed the address onto Mulroney in case the cop didn't know about the second warehouse.

He called Fusco. "What the hell?" the detective answered the phone.

"Hello to you too, Lionel."

"Do you know what time it is?" Fusco snarled at him.

John checked his watch, "You don't know what time it is? Maybe you should buy a clock. It's 2:18 am."

He heard Fusco growl. He smiled, he enjoyed teasing the grumpy detective more than he should.

"Lionel, do you think I would call you at this hour for fun?" John asked innocently.

"Yeah, actually. Sounds like your twisted sense of humor."

"Well not tonight, one of your CIs just called in a tip. There is a major drug shipment coming in tomorrow night."

"How come my CIs never call at a decent hour?" Fusco grumbled.

"This CI has plans for tomorrow. I'll see you at the bust."

John drove home. As he parked, he glanced up at his apartment windows and saw there was a light on. "Uh oh," he thought, "Busted." But he smiled, a pissed off Joss was a sexy Joss.

He didn't bother trying to enter the loft quietly since he knew Joss was waiting for him.

"Where have you been sneaking off to?" She snapped when he entered the apartment.

"Just checking out the warehouse your pal Mulroney told us about." John hung his coat in the closet, the one without all the guns.

"Why didn't you wake me up! I wanted to go with you!"

"I was not going to take you anywhere near the Cordova Cartel. In case you haven't noticed they've been trying to kill you."

Joss touched the bandage on her arm, "Yeah, I noticed."

John covered the distance between them in one stride and grabbed her into a bear hug, "I was not going to risk you." And he prevented her from arguing with him by planting a big passionate kiss on her until her arms came up and encircled his neck.

He finally had to break the kiss to breathe and he touched his forehead to hers. "Am I forgiven?"

"It's going to take more than a kiss to get forgiven," she looked up at him coyly.

John scooped her up in his arms and carried her to bed, where he got busy begging forgiveness.

* * *

The next night, John watched silently as the fishing boat pulled up the dock and the men began off-loading bales of cocaine. Fusco and Mulroney were hidden a few feet away, but only Fusco knew John was there.

John focused on Vasquez like a laser beam. He didn't care so much about the cocaine, he knew Fusco and Mulroney would deal with that, Joss's safety was his sole concern tonight.

At Mulroney's signal, half the NYPD moved in with lights flashing and sirens blaring. The confused cartel members scattered like cockroaches; one of them even jumped in the water and had to be fished out.

In the confusion, Vasquez bolted down a dark alley between two nearby warehouses. John tore after him, followed more slowly by the out of shape Fusco.

"Freeze, Vasquez," John yelled, leveling his gun at the retreating figure. John himself would have preferred to just shoot the man, but Joss made him promise that there would be no unnecessary killing.

Vasquez took the decision out of John's hands by turning and firing. Vasquez missed, John didn't.

Fusco looked a bit miffed when he huffed up a few minutes later and saw Vasquez's body. "Dammit, do you know how much paperwork I have to do now?"

John gave Fusco his best smirk, "And no Carter to do it for you."

"She types faster," Fusco grumbled.

John handed Lionel his gun so he could take credit for the takedown of Vasquez and high tailed it out there before any of the other law enforcement officers saw him.

Once he was far enough away to be safe, John hit his favorite preset on his phone. The phone had barely rung before Joss answered. John couldn't help but smile. He knew she would be waiting impatiently for his call. It had taken all his powers of persuasion to get her to stay home that night. For a while he'd seriously considered tying her up. He still might…

"Well?" she snapped out, interrupting his thought process.

"It was easy. Mulroney and Fusco get credit for a multi-million dollar bust and the Cordova Cartel is done in New York. Even their expensive attorney can't save them now. They got caught red-handed."

"Vasquez? What about Vasquez?" she asked impatiently.

"Dead."

"JOHN! You promised!"

"In my defense, he shot at me first."

"Are you alright? You're not hurt?" John was surprised to hear concern in her voice, he couldn't remember the last time anyone cared if he was alright or not. Even Finch had a tendency to forget to inquire about his health after a shoot-out.

"I'm fine, Vasquez was no marksman."

"Good, because I have plans for the rest of the night and I need you healthy."

"I'll be home soon."

John stopped and bought a bottle of champagne. Tonight was a night to celebrate. Joss was safe and it was the beginning of something very special between the two of them. Besides, it might be kinda fun to get her a little tipsy.

* * *

Joss threw her arms around John as soon as he entered the apartment and he joyfully returned the embrace, sweeping her off her feet and swinging her around while she giggled.

"You're safe now, so I thought a little celebration was in order", John said showing her the bottle he had purchased. "Good idea," she purred at him.

John led her into the kitchen where he opened the bottle and got the champagne flutes from the full bar set that Finch had thoughtfully stocked in the loft, while she got out some crackers and cheese. He poured them each a glass and they nibbled on the cheese and crackers while he gave her a full report of the night's events. He kept their glasses filled during the conversation and she grilled him for all the details.

When he reached the part in his narrative where Vasquez had taken the shot at him, she tenderly reached out and stroked her hand over his cheek and looked up at him with big concerned eyes. "Thank God you weren't hurt! You have to be more careful!" she said.

John put his hand over hers and turned his head so that he could kiss her palm, "Look who's talking," he replied gently touching the wound on her arm. Joss shot him her best "Oh yeah?" look. He laughed at her and then kissed her hungrily on the mouth. Her hand moved from his cheek to the back of his head to hold him in place while she returned the kiss. John smoothly slid his tongue into her mouth and put his flute down so he could place both his arms around her and hold her tightly to him.

She set her empty glass down as well and enthusiastically joined in the kissing. He pinned her against the counter with his body and let his hands wander underneath her shirt. She began unbuttoning his shirt without breaking the kiss and their tongues started fighting for dominance. She had his shirt off quickly and her hands roamed his chest and stomach.

John finally broke the kiss so he could pull Joss's shirt off over her head and peel off her bra. He reached down, placed his hands on her hips and lifted her up onto the counter. He stepped between her legs and then he held her tight against his body for a minute, enjoying the bare skin on skin contact and the feel of the warmth of her body against his. Joss began nuzzling his neck, kissing him from the spot just under his ear down to the point where his neck joined his shoulder. She sucked hard there, leaving a mark.

John moaned and threaded his fingers through her hair, pulling her head back so he could claim her mouth once again. Joss reached down and grabbed his ass, pulling him more tightly against her. She ground against him, causing him to moan, "Oh, Joss."

"Get those pants off now", she ordered him breathlessly.

She reached over, undid his belt, popped the button and unzipped his fly, letting his pants and boxer briefs drop. He stepped out of them and kicked them away. He swiftly unbuttoned her jeans, pulled them off her. and moved back between her legs. Grabbing her hips once again he positioned her right on the edge of the counter and slid smoothly into her as she moaned his name. She tightened around him, nearly driving him to his knees.

He began thrusting into her as he held her to his body, raining kisses down on her mouth and neck. She locked her ankles behind him, as desperate to hold him tight as he was to hold her. He arched his back to be sure his cock was rubbing her sensitive spot and her nails dug into his flesh, letting him know that he was successful. "Oh my God," she gasped.

John could tell that Joss was hovering on the edge. To push her over, he grabbed his champagne flute and gently trickled a small amount of the bubbly drink over her clit. The tickling of the bubbles finished the job and a massive orgasm slammed into her body. She arched her back, her eyes rolled back into her head. "Oh my GOD!" she gasped and her head dropped onto his chest. She would have slid off the counter into a puddle on the floor if John had not been holding her.

His own release came a few thrusts later. He felt himself explode within her and he barely managed to keep his knees from buckling.

They held each other for a few moments while they came down off the intensity of their lovemaking.

Joss giggled, "I don't think I will ever look at a bottle of champagne quite the same again."

John laughed and scooped her up, carrying her to the bed for round two.

* * *

**John killed the guy who put the hit on Joss! Or did he...? )**

**Hint: this isn't the end, there is more to come! **


	10. Chapter 10

Reese woke up the next morning with a twinge of a hangover. Joss was not the only one who got a bit tipsy last night. Next to him he heard Joss let out a small groan.

"Damn champagne," she growled. John kissed her, taking care to be very gentle for both their sakes.

Joss put her head on his chest, "Do we have to get up?" she fussed.

John checked his phone on the bedside night stand, "No messages from Finch and you don't have to be home until Taylor gets out of school this afternoon. So no, we don't have to get up."

"Good." And with that, she snuggled up against him and went back to sleep.

John smiled and hugged her close. He couldn't remember the last time he'd felt this happy. Well he could, it was when he had been in Mexico with Jessica in that hotel room before the planes hit the twin towers. He'd quit the army, was going to ask Jessica to marry him and he'd had a whole future in front of him that involved settling down into a nice quiet normal life. Then he'd thrown it all away to go fight for the greater good, and he had simply accepted that he would never feel truly happy again. To him, it was nothing short of a miracle that he felt like THIS again, for the first time in years.

This time, he swore to himself, he wasn't going to screw it up. Sometimes you need to lose something before you understand just how valuable it is, and no one could appreciate that more than John. He had been given a second chance, a chance he was well aware that he didn't deserve, and he was going to protect it and fight for it with every fiber in his being.

* * *

Later that day, John pulled up in front of Joss's building and parked the car. "Do you want me to come up with you?"

"No, it's OK. I need to spend some time with Taylor since I haven't seen him in three days and do a bunch of chores. Maybe we can all have dinner together tomorrow night?"

"I might have a new number in the morning, but I'll see if I can break away for a couple of hours."

Joss squeezed his hand and got out of the car. John watched her walk into the building. She paused at the door, turned, waved and smiled and went in. John drove home, already missing her.

John entered his apartment alone for the first time in days. He took a few steps in and looked around. It already seemed different, lonely and cold without Joss there.

John was used to being alone, but he was not used to feeling lonely; now he felt lonely. The woman he loved had been in his home for a few too short days and he found that he liked it. He found himself wanting to make a real home with her.

His reverie was broken by the buzzing of his phone in his pocket. He glanced at the caller ID, it was Fusco. He realized something bad was up, Fusco had no reason to be calling him unless something was very wrong.

"Yes, Lionel?"

"Is Carter with you? This thing ain't over yet."

John gripped his phone harder and his voice dropped to the deadly growl he used when he was upset, "What do you mean?"

"After Vasquez's preggo mistress was shot, there was a witness outside the building who saw the killer leave. Carter was in the process of looking for that witness when she was shot and you stashed her in the Bat Cave. She asked me to keep looking."

"I take it you found the witness?"

"Yeah, I did, just a few hours ago. Get this, the gunman wasn't a man, it was woman. They identified Elsa Vasquez, Carlos's wife, from a picture. Elsa snuffed her competition, not Carlos."

John felt sick to his stomach, "Carlos was protecting the mother of his children by confessing."

"Yeah, Carter always did feel like there was something hinky about the confession. She knew he cracked too easy."

"It wasn't Carlos that put the hit on Carter, it was Elsa."

"That's a good bet. Mulroney tells me Elsa is known to be possessive and meaner than a junkyard dog. Where's Carter? Please say she's still with you."

"I dropped her off at her place a little while ago, she was meeting Taylor there."

"We better get over there, fast."

"I'll meet you there."

John hung up and hit the preset for Joss's phone as he ran for the car.

* * *

As soon as Joss stepped into her apartment, Taylor came running from his room and gave her a big hug. Joss happily returned the hug, despite the fact that she had enjoyed her time with John, a lot more than she should have given the circumstances, she had missed her son terribly.

"How's Grandma?" she asked.

"She's fine. She said to remind you that she is expecting us for dinner Sunday night, And she wants you to bring, as she put it, 'the new man in your life'."

Joss snorted, she could just see John eating a family dinner while her mom grilled him. That was worth a laugh or two. Then a thought occurred to her, "Hey, wait a minute, how did Mom know I have a new man in my life?"

"Um, I might have accidently let it slip…" Taylor looked embarrassed.

Joss folded her arms and glared, "How the heck did _**you**_ know?"

"John and I talked, man to man. He wanted to be sure I was cool with him hanging around."

Joss's eyes narrowed, "Oh he did, did he?"

"Hey, don't be mad at him, Mom! He knows we're a package deal. I'm good with it."

Joss sighed, as unhappy as she was with the fact that John had gone behind her back to talk to Taylor, she had to acknowledge that she and Taylor were a "package deal", and she should be grateful that John did understand that and was willing to work with it. She also recognized that she should be grateful that John and Taylor got along. If they hadn't, that would have been a deal breaker.

Joss had to smile when she thought about John. She still could not believe that he wanted HER of all people. She kept waiting to wake up from the dream. She wasn't quite sure they were going to be able to have a real relationship, but damned if she wasn't going to do everything in her power to make it happen. She wanted this, she wanted him, more than she had wanted just about anything in her life before now. She wasn't sure how much time they had before she got that dreaded call from Finch telling her that John was gone forever, but she was going to make the most of every minute they had together.

She smiled and brought herself out of her daydream, time to focus on her son.

"Go put your stuff away and bring me your laundry, I have some cleaning to do. After I'm done, we can get pizza and watch the game if you want."

Joss, as usual, emptied her pockets onto the side table by the door and then walked back into her bedroom. She hummed happily to herself as she sorted laundry, thinking of a pair of soulful blue eyes and a soft sexy voice. She did not hear the frantic buzzing of her phone by the door as John tried to call her.

So Taylor had no idea he should not answer the knock on the door a few minutes later….


	11. Chapter 11

John reached Joss's apartment first. His heart stopped when he saw the front door wide open. He knew instantly that he was too late. Joss would never leave her door hanging open like that.

He walked into the apartment and saw the side table knocked over, and both Joss's personal phone and the burner phone he had given her on the floor. He clenched his fists, how was he going track her now?

"I'm too late Finch, Joss and Taylor are both gone. There are signs of a struggle, so they didn't go voluntarily."

"Does the Detective have her phone on her? I can track it," Finch said frantically.

John looked up as Fusco entered the apartment, gun drawn, saw the mess and started swearing as only a career cop who had spent most of it on the streets could. John knew how he felt.

"No, both her phone and the burner I gave her are here."

"What about Taylor? Do you see his phone?" Finch asked

"Try it!" John barked.

Finch's fingers flew over his keyboard. He nearly cried with relief when Taylor's phone came up on the GPS map and it wasn't at the apartment.

"Yes! Taylor has his phone on him. He's at the old Tri-State industrial complex."

John ran for his car with Fusco right behind him.

* * *

Joss had no way of knowing where they were. As soon as Taylor had answered the knock on the door, three thugs had rushed in, overpowered the Carters, and thrown black hoods over their heads. Joss and Taylor were hustled down the stairs and thrown in the backseat of a car. Two of the thugs sat on them to keep them contained and the car sped off. The whole thing took place so quickly that Joss did not have time to reach her gun or her phone. Even if any of the neighbors called the police, they were long gone before a unit could have responded.

They drove for the better part of an hour before the car stopped. Joss and Taylor were dragged none too gently out of the car and up a flight of stairs. She heard a clang like a metal door was being opened and she and Taylor were shoved into a room.

"You wait here until Elsa gets here, then we have some fun," hissed a heavy South American accent. And the door clanged shut.

Joss yanked the hood off her head and looked around the room. They were in some sort of industrial factory type building, very old and not in good repair. Good, she might be able to use that to her advantage to get them out of here.

"Taylor do you have your phone?" The kidnappers had not searched her, but she had left her phone on the side table in the apartment. Hopefully, they had not searched Taylor either and he had his phone on him.

Taylor felt his pocket, "No, I had in my pocket, but it must have fallen out in the car."

"Damn, well that means we can't call John or the police. We'll have to get ourselves out of here." Joss continued looking around, wishing John was there. But then again if John were there, they would not have been grabbed in the first place. These guys were sloppy; John would have taken them down without even breaking a sweat.

"Mom, who's Elsa?" Taylor asked.

Joss took a deep breath. "I think they mean Elsa Vasquez, wife of Carlos Vasquez. I nailed him for murder and we thought he put a hit on me. That's why I had you stay at Grandma's and why I was staying with John. It seems we were wrong about Carlos, it appears that it was Elsa who wanted me dead.

"We don't really have time to talk about that right now; let's find a way out of here."

Joss looked around the room, there were no windows and the only exit was the door. Joss examined the door carefully; it was steel, but very old. The lock was old as well. It should be fairly easy to pick if she could find something to work with.

She looked around and after a few minutes found a few pieces of thick wire. She smiled in triumph; that was all she needed.

Joss knelt in front of the door and starting working on the old lock. Taylor watched her curiously, "When did you learn to pick locks?" He asked, somewhat surprised that his straight-arrow mother had acquired such an illegal skill.

"Let's just say that hanging out with John Reese has its advantages, Son," she said without looking up.

"You think he'll teach me to do that?" Taylor asked.

"I'm sure of it, especially if I act like I'm irritated by it," Joss said. Taylor smiled.

A few seconds later they heard the lock click and the door swung open. "Mom for the win!" Taylor crowed.

While Joss was secretly thrilled that her son was proud of her, she knew it was too early to be celebrating. "We aren't out of here yet," she whispered. "Keep quiet and follow me." Taylor nodded.

Joss peeked out the crack in the door, the hallway was clear and there was door leading to a stairwell down the hall. She opened the door wide enough to exit the room, winching at the loud squeaking sound the rusty hinges made. She slipped out the door with Taylor right behind her and they began moving toward the stairwell.

They were almost to the stairwell door when Joss heard footsteps coming down the hallway, she turned and saw one of their kidnappers come around the corner. For a brief second she and the man stared at each other, then he started running towards her screaming something in Spanish.

"RUN TAYLOR!" Joss shouted and she sprinted for the door. She heard the other kidnappers come pounding down the hall as well, but she didn't turn around. All three of them were probably in hot pursuit of her and Taylor now.

Joss followed Taylor through the door into the stairwell, her heart in her throat. The cartel members were right behind them, and Joss knew they were not going to make it outside. There was only one thing left for her to do.

"Taylor," she yelled at her son, "Keep running! No matter what happens, keep running!"

As Taylor raced down the stairs, Joss spied a metal trash can in a corner of one of the landings. It would not make a very good weapon, but it was all she had to work with. She grabbed it, waited until the lead pursuer was right behind her and turned, smashing his face as hard as she could with the can. He went down, tumbled the rest of the way down the stairs and lay still.

Joss was immediately tackled by one of the remaining pursuers. She went down hard, but still managed to deliver a powerful kick to his stomach. He swore at her in Spanish, grabbed his stomach and doubled over.

A sudden flood of daylight in the dark stairwell told Joss that the outside door had been opened. Taylor was out, he was free!

Joss barely had time to register that her son was safe when the third pursuer landed on her back, knocking the air out of her. As she gasped for breath, he grabbed her by her hair and slammed her head into the concrete floor. Joss could honestly say for the first time in her life she saw stars and an explosion of pain ripped through her head.

The thug then yanked her to her feet by her hair, and pinned her arms behind her back. Joss was only about half conscious and all she could think was _Taylor's safe! Taylor's safe!_

The guy she had kicked in the stomach, staggered over, clearly angry. "You will pay for that," he snarled, and punched Joss hard in the stomach. Joss groaned and doubled over in pain. The man smiled at her distress and then began pummeling her.


	12. Chapter 12

It was only after Taylor was several yards outside the door that he realized his mother was not behind him. Then the sickening realization hit him, why she had told him to keep running no matter what, and why he had heard the sounds of a struggle behind him. All Taylor could think about at that moment was getting help. He frantically began digging through the kidnapper's car looking for his phone.

He was never so happy to see a big black Lincoln as he was a minute later when John screeched to a stop next to him and he and Fusco leaped out of the car.

John grabbed the teen by the arms, "Where's your mom?" he asked frantically.

Taylor looked up at him with tears in his eyes, "She's still in there, she stayed behind…." Taylor could not finish his sentence but both men knew what he meant. Joss had stayed behind to cover her son's escape. John's eyes went dead and his face became the hard and cold mask of the trained killer.

"Where is she?" he asked in a low, deadly tone. Taylor indicated the stairwell door, too winded and upset to talk any further.

"Stay with Fusco." John commanded, drawing his gun. Fusco drew his gun too and moved over to stand next the teenager.

John tried the door Taylor had exited just a few moments before, and found it locked. He pumped a couple of bullets into the lock and the door opened easily. He stormed up the stairs and found two cartel members beating Joss's unconscious body. The one holding her up threw her across the stairwell landing and both men turned to face John. John did not bother with knee capping this time; he dispatched each one efficiently with a single, well-placed shot to the chest of each man.

He turned his attention to Joss. Her body had landed against the wall across the landing, twisted like a rag doll, facing away from him. She wasn't moving and he couldn't see her breathing. The stone cold killer's mask crumpled into the agonized face of a man who realizes he may have just lost the woman he loved for the second time in his life.

John dropped to his knees next to her, tears running down his cheeks, his cries sounding more like a wounded animal than that of a trained killer. _She sacrificed herself for her son,_ he thought. Gently, he turned her over and he gasped at the damage to her face. It was already so bruised and swollen that he almost did not recognize her.

Gently he felt for a pulse and for a heart stopping minute he couldn't find one. Finally his fingers detected a very faint one and he cried with relief. She was still alive, barely.

"Stay away from her!" said a female voice with a heavy Colombian accent. John looked up and saw Elsa Vasquez descending the stairs with a gun aimed directly at him and Joss. John immediately cuddled Joss's body close to his and turned slightly, trying to shield her as much as possible.

"Put the bitch down, she killed my Carlos! The father of my children! I will kill her now for that!" Elsa hissed at him

John shook his head, "No Elsa, I killed Carlos when he took a shot at me. Kill me, not her."

Elsa's beautiful face contorted with rage into the one of the ugliest John had ever seen, "Then I will kill you both."

"Don't think so," John said. During their brief conversation, using Joss's body to cover his actions, he had picked up his gun again and now brought his gun arm up with unholy speed, emptying the last few rounds in the clip into Elsa's chest. Elsa looked down in surprise, then slowly toppled forward and slid down the last few steps. Her body hit the landing and she lay still. John calmly went back to assessing Joss' s condition.

John was so engrossed in Joss that he didn't notice Fusco coming up the stairs behind him with Taylor. Suddenly the teen was dropping to his knees next to John, looking at his mother with a shell-shocked expression on his face. "Mom?" he said, his voice cracking a little.

Fusco looked over John's shoulder at Joss. "Oh my God," he gasped when he saw Joss's battered face.

"Fusco, call an ambulance and stay with Taylor. Finch and I will meet you at the hospital."

A sob from Taylor stopped John and he laid a hand on the teen's shoulder, "She'll be OK, we'll get her the best possible medical care."

Taylor looked at John with tears in his eyes, Joss's eyes, John noticed for the first time. "You were supposed to protect her, you promised. You said she was safe!"

John snatched his hand back like he had been bitten and stared at Taylor with the most heartbroken look on his face. Fusco had never seen Reese look so vulnerable, so hurt, and his own heart hurt a bit in his chest in sympathy.

"Hey, don't blame John…", Fusco started to say.

"No, Lionel, it's OK, he's right. I failed." John took a shaky breath, "Get them to the hospital." And John gathered up the shattered remnants of his dignity and made his way down the stairs and out the door.

John climbed into the car and drove away, all the while his inner demon was sneering at him, "Failed the woman you love again! You didn't save Jessica, and you may lose Joss!" John fought back against the bile that rose in his throat. What good was he if he couldn't save the one person who mattered most to him in the world? The picture of Joss's battered face and body forced itself into his mind, and he had to pull over.

An ambulance went screaming by a few minutes later, followed by a couple of patrol units and he knew they were on their way to the warehouse. A few minutes later the ambulance shot by going in the opposite direction and all John could do was watch until it was out of sight. He desperately wanted to follow it but he knew Taylor didn't want him anywhere near his mother and Taylor's feelings trumped his.

John put the car into gear and drove to the nearest liquor store. Today was a good day to fall off the wagon and drink to forget.

* * *

Finch limped into the hospital and headed for the waiting room where Fusco had told him to meet them. He was unable to hide his surprise when he noticed that John was missing. He would have thought nothing would keep Reese from the hospital, given his feelings for Carter.

Fusco saw Finch enter the room and pause in the doorway, obviously confused. Fusco got up to meet him. "If you're looking for John, he's not here."

Finch looked at Fusco in confusion, "Why, did one of the kidnappers escape?"

Fusco jerked his head the direction of Taylor, "Naw, the kid went off on him for not protecting his mom."

Finch stared at Fusco for few minutes while he absorbed the implications of that. "Taylor blames Mr. Reese for the kidnapping and the injuries to his mother? Oh, dear, I guess Mr. Reese did not take that well."

Fusco snorted, "That's the understatement of the year. John looked like the kid kicked him in the gut."

Finch felt a bit sick. He knew well how a grieving John had beaten himself up over Jessica's death. Being held responsible for Carter's injuries by her son would destroy him. He glanced over at Taylor, who was sitting with his head down; obviously the boy had no idea what demons he had unleashed in Reese.

Finch limped over and sat next to Taylor, "I owe you an apology."

"Why?"

"I too thought it was safe for you and your mother to return to your apartment after Carlos Vasquez was killed. Mr Reese does not bear the entire responsibility for your mother's injuries. Please blame me and not him. Your mother is very important to him."

Taylor looked squarely at Finch, "If you're trying to stop me from being mad at John, it's cool. It was a dumb thing to say to him and I'm sorry I said it. I just freaked out when I saw my mom so beat up."

"I'm sure Mr. Reese will be happy to hear that."

Taylor looked miserable, "Is that why he's not here? Because of what I said?"

Finch nodded, "Most likely he is under the impression that you are angry with him and do not want him near your mother."

"Mom's going to want to see him when she wakes up. You know, she looked really happy when we talked about him this afternoon."

"Taylor, if I know John, he will move heaven and earth to make sure you and your mother are happy."

"I know; that's why what I said was so stupid. Do you think you could call him? Tell him I'm sorry and he should come down here and be with mom?"

"Of course." A very relieved Finch pulled out his phone and punched the preset for John, but there was no answer.

Finch rose from his seat, "I'll go find him. His phone is still on so I can track him."

"Thanks, Mr. Finch," Taylor said miserably, "I'm sorry I shot off my mouth and caused all this."

"You were upset, Taylor, please do not worry about it." And Finch limped off.


	13. Chapter 13

Once glance at the GPS information on Reese's phone told Finch he had gone back to his apartment on the edge of Chinatown to lick his wounds. Finch headed straight there, worried about what he might find. Finch shuddered to think what this latest setback would do to John. John could handle gunshot wounds and knife wounds without batting an eyelash, but a wound to the heart, not so much.

To someone who did not know him, Reese appeared to be stoic and rather unfeeling, but Finch had grown to know the man and he knew the stoic exterior was a front, one John had carefully cultivated during his years in combat and in working for the CIA. Finch knew that it wasn't that John was unfeeling, it was that he felt far too much and too deeply. John's feelings were actually very deep and intense, so he had built a hard shell around his heart as a survival measure. Those deep and intense feelings made John very vulnerable and he was very careful about letting people get close to him. Finch was very aware that John cared for the detective deeply and losing her would literally kill him.

Finch knocked at John's door and listened. No sounds came from the apartment and that scared him. With his heart in his throat, Finch pulled out his key and entered cautiously. Mr. Reese was not the kind of guy you snuck up on, especially when you were already living every day with pain.

"Mr. Reese? Are you here? John?" he called out as he moved further in the loft. He spied John sitting on the couch, leaning forward, elbows on his knees, head hanging. Finch did not move quietly with his limp, so he knew that John heard him as he walked to the couch across the hardwood floor; but Reese didn't acknowledge the other man's presence in any way. Finch was further dismayed to see a mostly empty bottle of scotch sitting in front of John on the coffee table.

"Mr. Reese, get your coat on. You are needed at the hospital," Finch said, trying his best to sound firm.

"I doubt that, Finch," John said softly without looking up. He did take a long gulp of his drink.

"I just came from there. Taylor is sorry he blamed you for his mother's injuries and would like you to be there when Detective Carter wakes up."

"Whether Taylor is sorry or not, he was right, Finch."

"No, he wasn't and he knows that. He asked me to find you."

"I don't belong anywhere near the Carter family. I almost got them killed today." The despair in John's voice made Finch's eyes water with tears for his friend.

"John, there is no way you could have known that Elsa Vasquez was the danger and not her husband. I didn't know either and I had access to more information than you did. If you are going to blame anyone, blame me, not yourself."

"You hired me to do a job and I blew it. I let my heart get in the way." There was hitch in John's voice.

"John, you're human…"

"You didn't hire me to be human; you hired me to protect people. And I failed with my most important case because I was too busy playing house with our number." His voice hitched again, "And Joss paid the price."

"John…"

"Mulroney tried to tell me, he knew that the hit on Joss was not the cartel. But I was thinking with the wrong organ, so I didn't listen."

"There is nothing wrong with loving someone, John. You deserve to be happy."

"Men like me can't be happy. People get hurt when we drop our guard." John put his head in hands, "Oh God, Finch, why did it have to be her?"

Finch sat helplessly next to John on the couch, frantically trying to think of the right thing to say to break John out of his grief and guilt. He couldn't think of a single thing to say and silently he cursed the universe for what it was doing to his friend. Regardless of what he thought, John Reese did deserve some happiness in his life and Finch had great hopes that Joss Carter would bring him the happiness he richly deserved.

"John, I heard the conversation with Mulroney, too. I had all the same evidence you did, I reached the same conclusion you did and I wasn't involved with her. Please don't do this to yourself. Not now. Jocelyn needs you."

"Go away Finch. I failed her when she relied on me to protect her. She's better off without me."

John reached for his glass again and Finch reached out and grabbed his wrist. John was a more than a bit surprised by the strength in that grip. Finch was furious with the world at the moment, so that helped a lot.

"Sorry to interrupt you little pity party, Mr. Reese, but right now the Carter family needs you at the hospital. So I suggest you grow up, put on a clean shirt and go brush your teeth. You can marinate in your scotch later. Right now you are going to do what is best for Detective Carter and her son. Taylor asked me to bring you to the hospital and you are going."

John blinked in surprise at his employer. He hesitated for a few seconds and then meekly got up and did as he was told. Finch suspected that it had more to do with the fact that John really wanted to be at the hospital and not so much with getting chewed out by a crippled guy half his size, but he would take it.

* * *

A short while later, Finch and John entered the waiting room. John hesitated when he saw Taylor, unsure how the teenager would react to seeing him again. But Taylor leaped up and ran over to John throwing his arms around him. John smiled and returned the hug.

"I'm sorry John. It was shitty thing to say."

"It's OK. It's all over now. Have you had any updates on your mom? Is she out of surgery?"

Fusco piped up, "Naw, we haven't heard a damned thing since she went into the OR. All we know is that they suspected she had some organ damage and internal bleeding, but they wouldn't know how bad it was until they got in there."

"Then I guess we wait," John said.

In reality the wait was only a couple of hours, but to the men and the teen waiting, it seemed like forever.

Finch used his time productively, arranging a private room for Joss and for payment of her medical bills. Since he was paying the bills, he also managed to convince the staff to register her under an alias to make it difficult for any remaining members of the cartel to find her and to make it easier for John to visit her without running into any CIA agents.

Fusco paced and grumbled, and grumbled and paced. Finally, when he caught John glaring at him, he took Taylor to the cafeteria for a bite to eat. Taylor made John swear to call if his mom came out of surgery before they got back. John would have anyway, so he promised Taylor and sent him off.

John was actually glad to have some time alone. He needed some time to think.

He had meant what he had said to Finch back at the loft, he was angry at himself for failing Joss, and he was quite sure that his failure was due to the fact that he let himself get distracted by starting a relationship with her. It had been a spur of the moment decision, to give in and let himself love again and while he was gloriously happy he had given in, he couldn't help but wonder if it maybe Kara Stanton was right, maybe human connections were not for people like him…

"Whatever dark thoughts you're thinking, stop, Mr. Reese." Finch settled down in the seat next to John.

"How would you know what I was thinking?" John asked glaring at his employer.

"Head down, shoulders slumped, face locked in a scowl. We have been working together for over a year now, I know the signs."

"I should have kept my hands off her."

"I know that you probably don't want my opinion, but I think you have your head up your ass, Mr. Reese."

John blinked at Finch, stunned by his employer and friend for the second time that day. Finch turned stiffly in his seat and looked John directly in the eyes.

"Oh, I'm fully cognizant of the fact that your CIA handler told you that human relationships are not for people like you, but she was wrong, very, very wrong. I know you don't like to admit it, but you are human John, and denying your humanity is part of what put you on the streets on the way to suicide by Jack Daniels. It's OK to love and be loved, really.

"Detective Carter makes you happy and you make her happy. I may be socially stunted, but for the life of me, I can't figure out how that would be wrong."

Finch looked down as his lap and John could tell he was struggling with something.

Finally he spoke, "I have a lot of regrets in my life, Mr. Reese. At one point I thought walking away from someone I loved and who loved me was the right thing to do, that it was the only thing to do. I was wrong, I know that now, but it's too late for me to fix it. I hurt both of us very deeply by doing the wrong thing. As they say, I blew it. You and Jocelyn deserve to be happy, John, don't blow it. For both your sakes."

John stared at his boss and friend stunned. "Thanks, you've given me a lot to think about, Harold." He paused, and then added, "It may not be too late for you either."

Finch just looked sad, "No, it's been a few years, that's too long, she's moved on. But you still have a chance at happiness."

"Do you really think someone like me can make someone like her happy, Finch?"

"Judging from the afterglow I saw when I stopped by your apartment the other morning, I think you already have, Mr. Reese."

John glared at Harold. "What, you think I'm blind?" Harold shot back.

"Someday my past is going to catch up with me, and not even you will be able to save me, Finch. I don't want her to get caught in the crossfire when that happens."

"John, in case you haven't noticed, NYPD homicide cop is not the safest job in the world. The only reason Elsa Vasquez is dead and Joss Carter is alive is because of you. Carter is never going to be safe, but she is safer with you."

"First Joss has to survive the beating she took," John said miserably, looking down at his lap.

"I had the nurse check, she should be out of surgery soon," Finch assured him.

They sat quietly until Fusco and Taylor returned and sat down with them. Even Fusco was quiet.

Finally the surgeon emerged from the operating room. John kept his hand on Taylor's shoulder while the doctor spoke.

"It was touch and go there for a while, her spleen and her liver were severely lacerated and she lost a lot of blood. We got the bleeding under control and I think we even managed to save the spleen, we'll know for sure in a few days. She had some broken ribs and a severe concussion. But all in all, with some rest, I think she will be fine."

"Can I see her?" Taylor asked.

"She'll be in recovery in a few minutes, you can see her then."

Carter was soon settled in recovery and Taylor and John were by her side as soon as they were allowed in. Once Finch and Fusco saw her settled in her room, they took their leave to let John and Taylor have time alone with her. They promised to return in the morning.

John stared at Joss. Her face was very beat up, she had a huge knot on her forehead where her head had been smashed against the concrete landing and she had two very black eyes. But she was going to live and to John that was what mattered.

Now he had to think about what would happen after she woke up. He was still amazed that she had agreed to try a relationship with him, even with all she knew. He reached up and played with her hair, stroking and twisting a lock around his finger gently. He wasn't sure he knew where this relationship would go, but he vowed to himself she would not regret giving him a chance.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Taylor grinning at him. John smiled at the boy, "What?"

"Just watching you with Mom, seeing how much you dig her. It's good, man," Taylor replied.

John felt a bit embarrassed to be busted by the kid, but he knew that this affected Taylor too, so he didn't mind too much.

* * *

Joss woke up several hours later, Taylor had dozed off, but John was still fully awake, still standing guard by her side. His loving face was the first thing she saw when she opened her eyes.

"Taylor?" she asked weakly.

John smiled and pointed to her son dozing in the cot the hospital supplied for family members. Joss closed her eyes and a tear trickled down her face to see her son was unharmed.

John gently whispered in her ear as he wiped away the tear, "You did it Joss, there was not a mark on him. He got away scot-free."

"What happened?"

"Finch tracked Taylor's phone to the warehouse; Elsa and her henchmen are dead. They beat you pretty badly, but the doctors say you'll be fine with some rest. How do you feel?"

"I think my toenails are the only parts of me that don't hurt," she whispered.

John gently kissed her forehead, taking care to avoid the large lump, "Rest, my love, I'll be right here with you and Taylor. Always."

Joss closed her eyes and slept, knowing he would keep his promises to her, always.


	14. Epilogue

**Last chapter! This is the longest story I have ever written and I want to thank everyone for sticking with me. I hope you have enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it**

**Thanks again to my wonderful Betas, ReeseisLAVAhot and Maddsgirl75. I also need to thank everyone who reviewed my story, I have tried to PM everyone that I can with a personal thank you. Thanks to all the Guest reviewers, I wish I could PM and thank you personally.**

* * *

A week later, Joss was released from the hospital. John, Finch and Taylor brought her home, and got her settled in her apartment.

Finch and Taylor left in search of takeout food for dinner. Joss saw Taylor give John a sly wink on his way out the door and she was quite curious as to what was up.

Joss turned to John, puzzled and noticed that he looked…nervous. That was new. She had seen him in a lot of sticky situations and he had never looked nervous, he had always been cool and calm. Now the tips of his ears were turning a soft pink, along with the skin along those fabulous cheekbones. He shuffled his feet and ducked his head so that he was looking at her from beneath his eyebrows. Joss barely managed to suppress a laugh, he looked so freaking CUTE.

John cleared his throat and pulled a velvet case out of his pocket. "I got you a Welcome Home gift."

Joss put her hand over her mouth, eyes wide with tears as John opened the box to reveal a heart shaped gold locket with a script J engraved on the front and a rather large diamond nestled in the curve of the tail of the J. "John it's beautiful," she gasped. "Put it on me, please."

John smiled and took it out of the case and slipped the chain over her head. The chain was long enough that the locket hung over her heart. Joss opened the locket and nearly cried when she saw the inscription, "Always."

John put his arm around her and kissed her temple, "Do you like it?"

"Oh John, I don't think I will ever take it off." Then she paused and smiled at him, "Does the J stand for John or Joss?"

"Both," he kissed her and held her tight.

Joss buried her face in John's chest and blinked back tears. She had been alone for so long and it was hard for her to believe that she finally was not alone. She thought to the moment John had shot her CI to save her life and how he had gently whispered to her that she was not alone. Little did either one of them know that promise would grow and change into something so special.

John looked down, saw her tears and cupped her head in his large hands, "Are you alright?"

Joss smiled through her tears, "I'm more than alright and you've made me so happy, John."

John kissed her gently, "I know, I feel exactly the same. I never thought I could move on after I found out that Jessica was dead. Then this kick-ass cop started chasing me."

Joss tucked the locket inside her shirt. She realized that it was a good analogy for her love for John, something she couldn't really share with the world, but something she would keep close to her heart.

Finch and Taylor walked in at that moment and caught John and Joss in a passionate kiss. "I take it the present was well received?" Finch asked, his eyes dancing.

Joss smiled and nodded, "I love it!"

"I'm delighted to hear that. Mr. Reese spent a long time carefully selecting that gift."

"Well it's perfect," Joss said snuggling up to John.

"Lets' see it, Mom," Taylor came bounding up to her. Joss pulled the locket from her shirt and showed it to her son. Taylor studied it for a moment then slapped John a high five.

"Come on peeps, food's getting cold," Taylor declared, leading the way into the kitchen.

They ate dinner, then Finch took his leave. "Enjoy your evening off Mr. Reese. I'll call you in the morning if we get a new number. No need to come in unless I call."

"Thanks, Finch."

A little while later, Taylor left as well. "I have my homework done, I'm heading over to Dante's for a couple of hours."

Joss gave her boy a hug, sent him on his way and then joined John. He was at the French doors leading out the small balcony, staring out the windows, but he didn't turn to look at her when she snuggled up to his side. She rested her cheek against his shoulder and waited for him to say something. His jaw moved from side to side briefly, then he finally spoke.

"I never apologized to you, for failing you." He said softly.

Joss looked up him, genuinely puzzled. "Fail me? When did you fail me?"

John looked down at the floor. "I thought you were safe after I killed Carlos Vasquez. Mulroney tried to tell me that the cartel would not have put a hit on you, and I didn't listen to him. I let myself get distracted."

Joss reached up and placed her hand on his cheek and turned his head so that he was looking at her. His eyes were damp and her heart hurt when she saw the pain there. But she was touched that he was letting her see him so vulnerable. She suspected that she might be the first person since Jessica to see him so open and unguarded. Gently she ran her fingers through his the hair at his temple.

"John, pay close attention because, I'm only going to say this once. You did not fail me." John opened his mouth to protest and she moved her hand swiftly to his lips. "Shush, I won't listen to single word you say. Finch, Fusco and I all thought the danger was over. We all thought Carlos was our guy. We all had the same information you did and we all reached the same conclusion. I will not allow you to beat yourself up over this. Stop it."

John didn't answer, but pulled her to his chest and held her tightly while he rested his cheek on top of her head. Joss rested her head against his chest, enjoying the sensation of having his strong arms around her, holding her, making her feel safe and loved. No words were needed.

"I don't know what I would do if I ever lost you," John said. "I don't think I would want to live anymore."

"Don't talk like that, John. You would still have the numbers and Finch. And I would need you to look after Taylor for me."

John turned away from her and resumed looking out the French doors. "I'm not good at losing people, letting people go. You saw my condition after Jessica's death."

Joss slipped her arms around John's waist and leaned her head against his back. "John…"

"I don't let many people in, Joss. I have very few friends. I've been in love only twice. First Jessica, now you. I lost Jess to the one person who should have loved and cherished her like she deserved, like I did. I couldn't bear to lose you, too. I came close, too close in that stairwell. I've lost a lot of people over the years and you know what? It doesn't get easier, it gets harder." John's voice choked off and he was silent.

Joss was stunned, to have someone like John Reese declare that he would not live without her in his life was unexpected, to say the least. Joss never thought of herself as anything special, but she knew John was very, very special. To think that he felt that way about her was…shocking.

"John, I don't know what to say."

"You don't need to say anything. I never told Jessica how much she meant to me and I pushed her away. I just don't want to make the same mistake again. I want to do this right this time."

Joss suddenly realized that despite all John's Bad Ass skills, as Taylor had referred to them on more than one occasion, his big unselfish heart was even more vulnerable and loving than she had previously imagined. She was humbled that such man had allowed her in, had laid his vulnerability at her feet and trusted her so much. She swore she was going to prove herself worthy of that trust, of that love.

Gently she turned him so he was facing her and reached up and kissed him with all the emotion she could muster. She didn't have the words to tell him how she felt, all she could was hope that her actions would somehow let him know how she felt. Somehow he would know that she understood the trust he had placed in her, that he did not place that trust lightly, and that she considered it an honor to be on the receiving end of that trust.

John's arms came up around her, holding her tightly in place while he returned her kisses. Somehow Joss knew he understood what she was trying to say. She pulled back and looked up at him. "I love you, John Reese", she whispered. "Take me to bed."

"Joss, you just got out of the hospital."

"I know and I didn't get any while I was in there." She took his hand and dragged him to the bedroom.

"I don't want to hurt you, Joss," he protested.

"I know you won't," she replied as she pulled her shirt off.

John came up behind her and moved her hair off to one side and slipped his arms around her. He whispered into her ear, "I will do everything in my power to make sure you will never be hurt again." and he began nibbling on her earlobe while she dropped her head back and moaned.

John took advantage of her exposed neck to kiss and nibble his way down to her shoulder while his nimble fingers made short work of the clasp on her bra. The bra joined the shirt in the corner and his fingers went to work on her nipples, rolling them between his thumb and forefinger and tugging on them. Joss groaned and leaned back against his chest for support to keep from dropping to her knees.

After a minute or two she had regained enough presence of mind to realize the while she was half naked, John was still fully dressed. That would not do at all, she wanted this man naked and inside her.

She turned and pushed his jacket off his shoulders. John kissed her and slid his tongue smoothly in her mouth. Joss unbuttoned his shirt while he plundered her mouth, and his shirt was soon on the floor where it belonged. John pulled her close, feeling the skin on skin contact of their naked chests.

Joss's hands dropped to his belt, unbuckled it and popped the button on his slacks. John's hand reached down and stopped her before she could lower his fly. "Are you sure you are up to this?' he asked. Joss could feel his erection, long and hard through his pants, "You seem to be," she purred.

"Joss, baby, I'm serious. I don't want to hurt you."

"I'm fine John. Please, I want this. I need you in me tonight. Take those pants off and get on the bed. now."

John gave her the amazing smile, "Yes, ma'am." he toed off his shoes, lowered his fly and dropped his pants, setting his erection free. He lay back on the bed, and reached his hand out to her, his eyes begging her to join him.

Joss could not get her pants off fast enough. She straddled him and began kissing her way down his chest, loving every scar on her way down while he writhed beneath her mouth and he grasped the bed sheets like he was drowning and they were his lifeline. She smiled against his skin, she loved that she could pull this reaction from him, that she alone could make him feel this way.

Joss took his cock into her mouth, licking the head and lightly scraping it with her teeth. "Ohhh, baby," John moaned as his hips bucked up, fucking her mouth. She took him in until he hit the back of her throat and hummed, eliciting another moan from him. She attacked him, licking and sucking, trying to give him the maximum pleasure she could, until he was on the edge. Then she stopped and smiled a triumphant smile up at him.

"Evil, evil woman," he growled and grabbed her, pulling her up so he could attack her lips. While he was kissing her, he grabbed her hips and moved her over his throbbing erection. He swiftly thrust up into her, causing her to gasp as he filled her completely.

Joss swore she could feel every vein, bump and ridge as he slid into her and she nearly came just from that alone. She managed to control herself, she didn't want to come too soon, she wanted to drag this out as long as she could.

John didn't help when he reached down and started rubbing her clit. He could feel himself tightening, building to climax and he was not about to leave his woman unsatisfied. He felt her walls tightening on him and knew she was close as well. They came together in an intense explosion of feelings and sensations that drained them both.

Joss collapsed on top of John breathing heavily. He touched a cluster of bruises, still visible on her side, "Are you OK?" he asked with concern.

Joss slid off him and snuggled up his side. "Never better," she purred happily.

John reached down and pulled up the sheet and blanket, making sure Joss was covered and warm. He gently stroked her hair and sighed with contentment.

"Go to sleep, Joss. There won't be a new number until the morning."

"Are you going to stay?" Joss asked sleepily.

"Always, my love," he whispered.

**THE END**


End file.
